Nelson Muntz quotes from The Simpsons

[dressed up for school pictures] I feel like punching myself!

You wrecked Hitler's car! What did he ever do to you?

You see, the thing about huckleberries is: once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned.

Uh, uh, so anyway, I kicked the guy's ass!

[quietly] Now, if the berries are too tart, I just dust them with confectioner sugar.

Ha ha, Bart's family is poor!

A doctor for your teeth? What's next, a lawyer for your hair?

He who ha-has last, ha-has best.

Haw! Haw! Life goes on!

Your dad's a mob boss? [Laughs nervously] Please don't have me whacked! I was just kiddin' around! We were all havin' fun. Wasn't it fun? [Laughs nervously] Oh, fun is so fun. [Laughs nervously] There is no Mafia! [pulls his own shirt over his face.] Columbus Day is better than Christmas!

Mr. S. Lisa B.

I just paid some idiot 50 bucks to walk up the down escalator all day. [scene cuts to Gil walking up the down escalator]

My mom ran off with my birthday clown.

This place is beautiful as a the side of a Coors Lite bottle. The kind my dad used to leave in the bathroom.

Lisa, what you did is like my mother sticking ten bucks in her own g-string.

Simpson, there's going to be a heart in my hand, either paper or yours.

Simpson, I won't forget this. From now on, you and I are as tight as whiteys.