TV show quotes
I'm sorry, that leg's going to have to come off. [Homer and Bart gasps] Ha, ha, ha. Did I say "leg"? I meant that wet bathing suit. I'm afraid you'll need a cast on that broken bone.
Aw, I'm going to miss the whole summer.
Don't worry, boy. When you get a job like me, you'll miss every summer.
This was a lovely idea, Homie. Come here and kiss me.
Mmm... Uh-h-h-- [a rotor system is heard and a spotlight interrupts]
[scream]
[through a megaphone] Do not be alarmed. Continue swimming naked. Aw, come on! Continue! C'mon! Aww... [to Lou] All right, Lou, open fire.
[After hearing a woman scream from inside Flanders' house, Bart looks outside and sees him digging a hole in his yard]
This can't be what it looks like. There's gotta be some other explanation.
I wish there was some other explanation for this. But there isn't. I'm a murderer, I'm a murderer!
Then that's not the real Ned Flanders.
I'M A MUR-DIDDLY-URDLER!
If that's not Flanders, he's done his homework.
[after they build a barn from a pool kit] Alright, everybody in the pool!
'Tis a fine barn, but sure 'tis no pool, English.
D'oh-eth!
Well, I guess that explains everything.
Not everything. [talking to Ned] There's still the little matter of the whereabouts of your wife.
Uh, I'm right here.
Oh, I see. Then I guess everything's wrapped up in a neat little package!
[Everybody looks at him]
Really, I mean that. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic.
[Lisa's attempt to outdo Allison's saxophone performance causes her to lose consciousness and fall off the stage. Later, Lisa wakes up to see Mr. Largo in front of her along with Skinner, Jenny, Allison and Ralph]
Oh! That was a close one, Lisa, but you made it.
[ecstatic] I won first chair?
No, you regained consciousness; Allison got first chair.
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
[Scene fades to black. Lisa wakes up a second time.]
Huh...? Oh, it's just a dream.
Oh! That was a close one, Lisa, but you made it.
[ecstatic] I won first chair?
No, you regained consciousness; Allison got first chair. And believe me, this is not a dream!
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
[Homer and Bart come across an overturned truck that is spilling sugar. Homer shovels sugar into his car boot]
Dad, isn't this stealing?
Read your town charter, boy! "If foodstuff should touch the ground, said foodstuff shall be turned over to the village idiot". Since I don't see him around, start shoveling!
[shows a used one dollar bill to Marge] And you didn't think I'd make any money. I found a dollar while waiting for the bus.
While you were out "earning" that dollar, you lost $40 by not going to work. The plant called and said if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday.
Woo-hoo! Four-day weekend!
Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?
NEVER! Never, Marge! I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called ‘City Fathers’ who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?!"
Look, just get rid of the sugar, okay?!
No!
[As Marge walks away, a swarm of bees begin to settle onto the sugar pile]
[screams] Hey! Get off my sugar! Bad bees! Bad! [bees sting him] Ow! OOWW!! Oh, they're defending themselves somehow!
[drowsy and in a Cuban accent] In America... first you get the sugar... then you get the power... then you get the women.
Lisa, stop the racket, I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy... easy... [smashes camera by using both hammer and drill] Hmmm... I'm gonna need a bigger drill.
[Rain squall has dissolved Homer's sugar heap]
NOOOO!! My sugar is melting! MELTING! Oh, what a world!
[spits out tea in disgust]
[sobs on completely melted sugar in the grass] My sugar's... gone...
[walks to Homer with an umbrella] I'm sorry, Homie.
[composed] It's okay, Marge. I've learned my lesson. A mountain of sugar is too much for one man. It's clear now why God portions it out in those tiny packets, and why He lives on a plantation in Hawaii.
Hey, everybody! Look at me! Turn this way right now!
Hey, it's Bart!
And he's doing stuff!
Bart, stop creating a diversion and get out of here!
Ugh, now we're into the dregs. Here's Ralph Wiggum's entry... Pre-packaged Star Wars figures still in their display boxes? Are those the limited edition action figures?
What's a diorama? [Skinner picks up the figures excitedly]
Why, it's Luke... And Obi-Wan! And my favourite, Chewie! They're all here! [to Ms. Hoover] What do you think?
I think it's lunchtime.
[immediately presents first prize ribbon] WE HAVE A WINNER!
I beat the smart kids, I beat the smart kid — oh! [Ralph trips, landing on his action figures] I bent my Wookiee.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
