OOtto
[drowning] I'm finding Nemo! [he disappears underwater and leaves through a pipe] I saw heaven!
S27Lisa the Veterinarian
S27The Marge-ian Chronicles
Hey, Flanders! Gas up your leaf blower much? [notices Flanders' hen house] Chickens?! Since when do you have chickens?
Oh, about six months.
Well, they've been driving me crazy. Get rid of them!
[chuckles] Don't let these feathery fellas ruffle your feathers, fella.
Chickens. You have yourself a perfectly good coop, and that's what you keep in it? [whistles]
Oh, Homer, surely you know there's nothing tastier than a fresh-laid egg! [to Rod and Todd] How do you want 'em, boys?
RTRod and Todd
Coddled! Coddled! Coddled!
[chuckles] What is it about boys and their coddled eggs?
S27The Burns Cage
[texts on this phone during a couch gag when "Meh" shows up] Up your… [other text shows the creator's name] Oh, sorry. Yes, sir. [other text shows the developers' names] Who are these guys? [other "Meh" text shows up] "Meh?"
[Smithers saves Mr. Burns' life after a parachute jump gone wrong]
[steps on Smithers' head] I did it! All by myself! [looks at Waylon] Oh, Smithers, do you always have to be underfoot?
Sorry, sir. If there was a less spectacular way to save your life, I... I should've found it.
Mr. Burns, coming down I... I thought we weren't gonna make it, and I thought I'd never get to say something I've always wanted to. The truth is, sir, I'm in love with...
The sound of your own voice? Yes, well, no dogwood, I, listening to the nightingale trill her unending tune! Don't take this the wrong way, but you mean nothing to me. Someone I give less thought to than the little piece of popcorn stuck in my tooth. Ooh, can you remove it? [Smithers removes the popcorn stuck in Burn's teeth] I'll see you back at the office. Don't be late!
S27How Lisa Got Her Marge Back
[Bart prepares his money pulling prank and Hans Moleman is walking down the street]
Ah, my first sucker! [chuckles]
Oh, a dollar. Now I can have lunch! [tries to grab the bill when his glasses fell, making him see perfectly] Hmm?! It's a trick! I never needed these. [throws his glasses and walks away. Bart groans]
Oh, lookie here, it's the old fishing line on a dollar bill prank. Man, even a backwoods, no account, inbred, lead-paint-eating, kerosene-huffing, roadkill-chomping, uh... what was my point? [walks away]
[to Luann] That is a practical joke, Luann. Which is too bad, because I desperately need that dollar. Yeah, I could also use the fishing line to get some dinner.
Bart, if Milhouse is hiding with you, tell him he has to shop for school clothes. [Milhouse comes out from behind the bushes]
Yay!! School clothes!
[to Homer, who's watching football] Dad, I'm worried. No one is falling for my pranks anymore!
Son, I know this seems like the biggest disappointment of your life, but trust me, there are going to be so many more. What you've got to remember is... Oh my God, 13 men in the field! Review it, review it, review it! Yes!! Play stands!
Mom, I've been working on a new solo jazz piece.
[groans] Can I hear it? [Lisa starts playing her jazz solo]
Oh, I'd love to stay and listen, but I'm late for work! [leaves and comes back with Snowball V] Here's another super-fan to hear you lay down your licks! [leaves, comes back, puts glasses and a beret on Snowball V and leaves again]
[To Maggie who had her hair cut like Bart's] Why you little!
Dad, no! You're gonna strangle a baby!
[gasps] Oh my God. That would've been horrible! [to Bart] Why you little! [strangles him] Turning a sweet little baby into a you! [sits beside him] Bart, you're a great kid, but if I had another one like you, I'd hang myself from a highway overpass! Please, give your sister the precious gift of not being you.
Okay Dad. Mags, it was fun while it lasted. [puts her hair back to normal]
Huh? Ha! I didn't know it was that easy. [makes Bart's hair look like Maggie's]
Stop that! [makes his hair like Sideshow Bob's]
Aah! Sideshow Bob!
S27Fland Canyon
[Homer puts Maggie to sleep]
[offscreen] Did you put the baby to sleep? [Maggie wakes up]
D'oh!
Oh... I can't read that again. I hate to see a wolf get punished for having normal appetites.
Okay, sweetie, I got a story about another little girl who got lost in the woods, but it wasn't a girl, and it wasn't the woods. [Maggie sucks her pacifier] Suck, suck indeed! And it all happened once upon a time, before you were born, and my chances for a man cave went out the window.
Bless you all for sacrificing your Saturday afternoon to help us clean up skid row.
When God came for Sunday I said nothing. Now he comes for Saturday.
Homer Simpson, it's one thing to moan and groan on the bus, but in front of these unfortunates, well... [scoffs] that just curls my 'stache! [his mustache curls a bit]
Hey, Flanders, why don't you take some advice from your Bible and zip it?
Oh, where does the Bible say "zip it"!?
It's the first thing the burning bush said to Moses! [a homeless man approaches Homer]
HMHomeless Man
Thank you for teaching us Scripture. [hugs Homer while he shows his tongue to Ned] Thank you.
Enjoying your moon view, Homer?
S27To Courier with Love
Homer, you have to do more!
Ook?!
I'm getting tired of your "Ooks". I can't do this alone. Where's your chore list?
Oh, I'm taking care of that! It's laminated. And to make sure I do it... [shows Marge a doodle of her on the back of the chore list] Hmm?
[Marge groans]
[Homer, Bart, Lisa and Maggie find an old car on the garage]
I've never seen this. It must've been left by some previous owner.
Holy moly, a valuable antique car!! This is the find of a lifetime! Oh, it's a stick.
[Homer enters the car and starts the engine]
Dad, shouldn't we see who owns the car?
Now, sweetie, according to the ancient law of Trover, abandoned property passes to the subsequent landowner.
Man, ever since you watched Medieval Tomb Robbers on the History Channel, everything with you is Trover, Trover, Trover!
Boy, either show me a writ of replevin or pipe down!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.