Mr. Burns quotes from The Simpsons

Mr. Burns

[sees Roger Clemens acting like a chicken] That damn hypnotist! [to hypnotist] You! Look what you've done! My starting pitcher thinks he's a chicken! Make no mistake, I'm going to report this to the American Hypnotical Association.

Mr. Burns

[rides on Stampy] Ha-ha! Smithers, this reminds me of that fat man I used to ride to work!

Mr. Burns

Ah, soon that mighty apparatus will burst forth with its precious fluid. Almost sexual, isn't it, Smithers?

Mr. Burns

[leading an exercise] Push out the jive... bring in the love...

Mr. Burns

Yes, I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?

Mr. Burns

Doughnuts? I told you I don't like ethnic foods.

Mr. Burns

[after multiple avalanches caused] Those last three avalanches were your fault, Simpson!

Mr. Burns

[looking at two ketchup bottles] Ketchup... Catsup... Ketchup... Catsup... Castup... K... k... Ooh, I'm in way over my head.

Mr. Burns

[Pointing to a display case] Oh, you'll find this amusing: the suit Chaplin was buried in.

Mr. Burns

It's time to win the love of these hate-filled morons.

Mr. Burns

The man has no idea how to behave like a billionaire. Where's the dignity? Where's the contempt for the common man?

Mr. Burns

Let's see, social security number: naught, naught, naught ... naught, naught ... naught, naught, naught, two. Damn Roosevelt! Cause of parents' death: got in my way.

Mr. Burns

[After Smithers told him about his musical about Malibu Stacy, a doll] Well, why not write a musical about the common cat, or the King of Siam?

Mr. Burns

Damn that Pennybags. Between him and Scrooge McDuck all the best ankle is taken.

Mr. Burns

So the caterpillar has emerged from its cocoon as a shark, with a gun for a mouth.