TV show quotes
[At the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant in the cartoon]
This job sure is easy. Now to press this button.
[He presses a red button and the cooling towers explode in a giant cloud]
NOT AGAIN!!!!
[A cartoon version of Mr. Burns shows up]
[Voiced by Bart in a deeper voice] Angry Dad, you're fired.
[Angry Dad's head soon explodes and shows a similar cloud]
Stan Lee came back?
Stan Lee never left. I'm beginning to think his mind is no longer in mint condition.
[Homer has fallen into Bart and Milhouse's trap in the garden and got covered in green paint]
Grrrr...! RAAAAARRGGGHHH!!! HOMER MAD!!! AAARRRGGH!! [Bashes the fence down] GAAAAAARRRGGH!!!
Thank God his pants stayed on.
AAAARRGGHH!!! [Rampages through the town.] HOMER MAD!! HOMER SMASH!! GET REVENGE ON WORLD!!!
Look, it's the Incredible Hulk!
GAAAARRRGGGHH!!!
He can't be the Hulk! I'm the Hulk! [starts growling and grabbing onto his shirt, ripping it] Rrroar-owwll!!
Oh, please, you couldn't even change to Bill Bixby.
Come on, damn it, change! Mmmhhmhhmm! [in defeat] Oh, forget it. [strains a little more, then gives up again] I really did it once.
[taking Stan inside] Yes, yes. I just wish you had the power to leave my store.
Mmmhmm...
You almost had it there.
Thanks. Are you sure you don't want to come? In a Civil War re-enactment we need lots of Indians to shoot.
I don't know what part of that sentence to correct first, but I cannot come.
[At the Civil War reenactment, Dr. Hibbert's horse takes off.])
For me, the war is over!
Oh, this battle is rife with inaccuracy. Hey you dead people, stop playing cards. And Stonewall Jackson, stop roller blading!
The South will boogie again!
Oh, Homer. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
You bet I am!
(Homer imagines himself flying a hang glider while firing a ray gun at a terrified crowd below)
Hahahahaha! You can run, but you can't glide!
Hehehe! U S A! U S A!
I have to warn you, Apu does not have very much money.
Are you absolutely sure? Because legally, I am allowed to shake him by the ankles and see what falls out. It's established in the case of Lawyers vs. Justice. [chuckles] That was a wonderful day for us.
We have eight children. Will that affect the settlement?
[makes several joyful exclamations, then calms] Perhaps. [the lawyer jumps onto the table and starts dancing happily]
No offence, but you remind me of the monkey man who slaughtered my family's chickens!
[chuckles] Yes, I get that a lot.
When will you humans learn that your 'feelings', as you call them, can stand in the way of big cash payoffs?!
See you tomorrow, Lisa. We find out what five minus three is.
Um... I'm a teacher's aide in a very special class.
No, Lisa, we're both in--
Go, go, go!
Why do people run from me? [wets his pants, then smiles]
[singing "Tubthumping" while drunk] I get knocked down!
I get knocked down again!
You're never gonna knock me down!
Whoa, party house.
[A keg flies out of the window]
(from the house) Hey, where's my keg?
Hmm... Mom's not gonna like that.
Who's Mom?
Uh... that's what we call the gay guy who lives with us.
Hey, you doing anything tomorrow night? Robert Pinsky is reading at Café Kafka.
Robert Pinsky? The former poet laureate?
It's gonna be great, the three of us can split a scone.
Non-dairy?
Duh.
I take a whiskey drink! I take a chocolate drink!
And when I have to pee, I use the kitchen sink!
I sing the song that reminds me I'm a urinating guy!
I'll see you tomorrow.
See ya.
My face is up here, Homer.
(looking at Carmen's breasts) I've made my choice.
You know, if you let us go, there's a diamond necklace in it for you.
I hope you're not suggesting that I would take that necklace as a bribe. Think again, dirtbag, cause I can swipe it later from the evidence locker.
Play the race card! Play it!
Cool, a lie detector.
[Bart puts on the lie detector and a results sheet prints out as he speaks]
Lisa is a dork. Lisa is a dork.
Dad, make him stop.
[Homer looks at the results sheet]
Hmm... According to this, he's telling the truth.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
