Do you sell hats?
WBWooly Bully Store Clerk
Yeah.
To people?
WBWooly Bully Store Clerk
Maybe.
People with heads?
WBWooly Bully Store Clerk
Sometimes...
S13Papa's Got a Brand New Badge
[an unseen shooter begins firing at the mobsters outside the Simpsons' house]
Johnny Tightlips, can you see the shooter?
JTJohnny Tightlips
I see a lot of things...
You know, you could be a little more helpful.
S14Treehouse of Horror XIII
[In his Maude Flanders costume, eerily] Ned, I'm back! Give me a kiss!
[William Bonney (Billy the Kid) and his evil gang of undead henchmen have risen from the ground.]
BBilly
Now I'd like you to meet the hole-in-the-ground gang!
TTownspeople
[Gasp]
BBilly
Frank an' Jesse James!
TTownspeople
[Gasp]
BBilly
The Sundance Kid!
TTownspeople
[Gasp]
What happened to Butch Cassidy?
SKThe Sundance Kid
[imitating] What happened to Butch Cassidy? We're not joined at the hip, you know!
BBilly
And the most evil German of all time... Kaiser Wilhelm.
TTownspeople
[Mutterings of "Who?"]
FJFrank James
He ain't no cowboy!
WWilhelm
Sure I am! [stops to think]...uh... yippy wippy, wippy!
OK, he's in.
BKBilly the Kid
Now let's rob the bank, give the money to the poor, then rob the poor, and shoot the money!
[sing-songy] In the jungle / The mighty jungle / Homer rides a freak
[notices Maggie who has been turned into an anteater] Maggie! [Lisa, turned into an eagle, swoops down, grabs Maggie with her claws, and tries to fly away] Lisa! [grabs Lisa from her legs, pulls her down and releases Maggie]
[defensively] We were just playing.
What game?
[sheepishly] Let's eat Maggie...?
[After other characters - who have been turned into 'manimals' by Dr. Hibbert - decide that they enjoy it]
YOU GUYS ARE NUTS! All you can do is eat, and sleep, and mate, and roll around in your own filth, and mate, and eat-- Where do I sign up?
[as an eagle] So, how do you like being a walrus, dad?
[as a walrus] It's great! I haven't been this skinny since high school!
S14How I Spent My Strummer Vacation
[The Simpsons are gathered together, while watching Taxicab Conversations.]
WGWise guy
How ya doing?
[drunk] Talky thing, ain't ya?
Another proud moment for the Simpsons.
Hey, what gives, where are the rock stars?
I don't know, but it's starting to get dark.
[All of a sudden, they hear rock music.]
[Gasps] What was that?
Oh, it's getting closer.
[In a burst of smoke, a stage emerges and Mick Jagger and Keith Richards appear.]
MJMick Jagger
Hello campers!
KRKeith Richards
How are ya doin'?
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! It's Mick Jagger and Keith Richards!
AApu
Can we talk about accentuating the...uh...masculine area?
LKLenny Kravitz
Did you hear that, everybody? Apu just asked about crotch stuffing. Now, I don't do that. Kenny Loggins does.
KLKenny Loggins
[Appearing at the window] I trusted you! [Runs away crying].
Mr. Seltzer?
BSBrian Setzer
Setzer.
No, I think it's Seltzer.
[Homer is upset that the Rock n' Roll Fantasy Camp is over]
MJMick Jagger
It's okay, Homer. It's only Rock n' Roll camp.
But I like it.
[Homer has a backstage pass and jumps over the counter of a Pizza stand]
Sir, you can't...
[flashes his card at the teen] All access!
[salutes] Oh. Sorry!
There's no need for apologies, guys. You're rock stars! You're supposed to be reckless and destructive, and be celebrated for behavior that would land normal people in jail!
KRKeith Richards
That's what I told them!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.