Sea Captain quotes from The Simpsons

Sea Captain

Yar, just plastic. Which is healthier than what you find in the ocean.

Sea Captain

I'm married to the sea, and I'm seeing two of the great lakes on the side. I won't say which ones but it's ERIE how SUPERIOR they are.

That man ate all our shrimp and two plastic lobsters.

Sea Captain

'Tis no man. 'Tis a remorseless eating machine. Argh. [walks over to Marge and Homer] 6 bells, time for closing.

Homer

Can't talk. Eating.

Sea Captain

Fairly warned be thee, says I. [he snaps his fingers and two waiters drag Homer out of the restaurant as he is still eating]

Homer

Hey. Hey! Hey! [runs back to the buffet table, starts shovelling food with his hands and the waiters drag him out again as Marge follows on foot] But the sign said "All You Can Eat"!

Sea Captain

Arr, I've got some customers. Call me back, Ishmael. [hangs up phone] Ahoy here, minnows.

Bart

Ahoy! Have you seen this man?

Sea Captain

Arr, that's Handsome Pete. He dances for nickels. [Turns to the back door] Pete, ye got some customers!

Reverend Lovejoy

In many ways, Maude Flanders was a supporting player in our lives. She didn't grab our attention with memorable catchphrases or comical accents.

Groundskeeper Willie

Aye.

Yargh.

Reverend Lovejoy

But, whether you noticed her or not, Maude was always there...and we thought she always would be.

Sea Captain

Perhaps an old sea yarn might pass the time. [pauses for a moment] Too bad I don't know any.

Lisa

I know one, about the most important sea voyage in American history — the journey of the Mayflower.

Sea Captain

Aw, yes. The ship that brought prostitutes to America.

Lisa

Not prostitutes, Protestants.

Sea Captain

Now who's being naive?

Sea Captain

Fools! This whole contest was a ruse! [Homer then yelps after being grabbed by two Fogburyport citizens] You are here to be sacrifice to an evil god from the ocean depths.

Lisa

SpongeBob?

Sea Captain

No! To the eternal lord of horror, Cthulhu!

Sea Captain

An eating contest against the monstrous Cthulhu? To him, the Great Barrier Reef is just an average barrier reef.

Lisa

Well, my dad didn't eat breakfast.

Uh-oh.

Sea Captain

Yarr!

Uh, yes!

Kent Brockman

Breaking news. Smoke 'em if you got 'em. A ship carrying America's entire supply of cigarettes has become lodged in the Panama Canal.

Sea Captain

R, D, R, D, R, D. [After the ship was turn left, but he couldn’t do that, Horn blading in the ship, crowd laughing] Do you think the honking is helping? ‘Cause I don't!

Kent Brockman

Experts say the cigarette shortage could mean months before shelves are restocked and lungs re-blackened.