Have you seen our dad?
MMoe
No, just these hundreds of silly versions of him, which is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I mean I'm printing money over here.
S35Treehouse of Horror XXXIV
[belches after eating a toxic donut] Better than the chimney in the furnace, am I right?
S35Iron Marge
My Werthers, my choice.
S35It's a Blunderful Life
I call a drumstick.
Nice try, boy, but we agreed I'd get both drumsticks every Thanksgiving on the day you were born.
Aw, no fair. I was too young to sign that.
I believe this is your foot, is it not? And I had it notarized.
[turns red in anger] Why you giant.. [angrily strangles Homer]
[sighs] But the worst was yet to come. That Thanksgiving would surpass Christmas and my birthday as the saddest day of the year.
Mmmm...pepper spray.
S35Ae Bonny Romance
Oh, my head. Homie, what do you take for a hangover? Huh? [Homer is running away] Oh fine, be that way.
For once, I'm the one who spoke truth while drunk.
Oh, oh. Running away from a fight?
Well, I'm still mad at you!
Well, I'm still mad at you!
You told everyone that I don't care about romance, and now they think Homer Simpson is vanilla in the sack!
["Homer Simpson is vanilla in the sack!" echoes, followed by "vanilla in the sack!" echoing three times]
Ah, you broke my sniffer. You do love me.
S35Murder, She Boat
[singing] I'm getting the mail, hallelujah, I'm getting the mail. It's something to do. [stops singing] Hmm. What the Helen Mirren?
Stimulus checks? We were supposed to catch these during the pandemic. Should we spend the money now or wait for the next one?
So what are we gonna blow it on, jet ski or motorbike? Vroom, vroom, vroom!
[to Marge] Mom, there is something I've always wanted for this family, but it's not a thing, exactly.
Vroom?
...but rather, it's an experience. Something we can all treasure and talk about for years to come.
Wow. Well, then maybe we should do it.
[to Marge] Wait, that's the move? Go all sincere and emo? Gross.
[Bart walks away from the kitchen]
There is one small issue. My idea will take finessing with Dad.
Hmm.
S35Do the Wrong Thing
Students, look to your right, look to your left. These are the people you'll be cheating off of.
S35Frinkenstein's Monster
Me, too.
I use mine as corn holders.
Marge, baby, when I get this job, we're gonna be rich. Rich.
All right, Simpson, this is the 691st time you've left us for another job.
Yeah, well, I have a good feeling about this time.
So, we finally said what the hell, we have a form for everything else around here, so why not this?
S35Lisa Gets an F1
CCCrazy Cat Lady
[the dogs barking] Monster. Monsters all. Ow!
So he's afraid of germs on toilet seats.
AAnnette
No, he's afraid of rotisserie chicken. Lisa, if we can use this exposures treatment to get you comfortable in cars, that might help you overcome your other anxieties.
Okay, I'll do whatever it takes.
AAnnette
Well, I must warn you, it won't be fun.
Time for your bedtime sweet dream routine. [Lisa climbs into bed, and Homer switches the light off] Here's your night-terror teddies... [He dumps all the teddies on Lisa] And I'll set the night-light to "boogeyman banisher." [He squats down and turns Lisa's moon night-light on]
[As he wakes up from the Mario Kart nightmare After He (As Wario) knocks Lisa (as Mario) Off the Rainbow Road with a bomb.] It's-a me, Wario! It's all my fault! Wah!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.