The Simpsons · Season 14
The shaking's so bad, all my omelettes have become frittatas.
That's the saddest story I've heard in my 75 years of public office. It makes my blood boil, and my left arm feel numb. Also I taste copper. [groans and collapses from a heart attack]
Quick! Someone perform CPR!
[singing] I see bad moon rising...
That's CCR.
Uh, [singing] looks like we're in for nasty weather...
I like that clown. He's really lookin' out for me, the average Joe-Six Tooth.
Where'd you get yourself another tooth?
Sidewalk.
[starts drinking Homer's beer]
Maggie, give me that! [takes the beer away from her]
[Maggie burps]
[Homer sees Lenny and Carl are fighting one another with carbon rods, ala Star Wars]
I say Phantom Menace sucked more!
I say Attack of the Clones sucked more!
All my life I've had one dream: to achieve my many goals.
[after getting thrown out of the striptease class] Aw, nobody loves Oily Homer.
[Homer tricks Mr. Burns into selling him the power plant, and then fires him]
So the caterpillar has emerged from its cocoon as a shark, with a gun for a mouth.
Now we nearly put this switch to "Overload". And once we do we'll be breaking the law. Can good truly come from civil disobedience? Gandhi thought so and—[cut off by Bart]
Gandhi also said, "Less talk, more rock." [Pulls the switch beyond "Overload"]
[Lights explode. The police come out armed]
Uh-oh. All of the lights are out. We need to get the entire force working on this.
But Chief, we are the entire force.
Okay, we got to start recruiting, Lou.
I wish God were alive to see this.
Puzzle piece, come out and play-ay!
Mom, I know Dad cares about you, but his feelings are really hurt. Why don't you just say you're sorry?
Lisa, marriage is a beautiful thing, but it's also a constant battle for moral superiority. So I can't apologize.
Couldn't you just say you're sorry and not mean it? I do it all the time: I don't think I ever meant it.
Bart, that's not right.
Sorry, Mom... See? It's that easy.
What a well kept street, and there sure are a lot of gay bookstores for a straight neighborhood. Bet these guys never had any kids.
I'm sorry I'm late. The velvet mafia made me a margarita I couldn't refuse.
Goodbye, Homer! I try to save our marriage and you just get drunk and spend the night with your homosexual boyfriends! [greeting each person on her way down the stairs] Reverend Lovejoy, Mrs. Lovejoy, Principal Skinner, Duffman.
[While being attacked by beavers] No! I wanted to die choking on food!
Look at those city slickers with their stupid fur coats and pointy hats.
Homer, those are elk.
I still hate them. Go back to Grosse Pointe!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
