Maggie Simpson quotes from The Simpsons

Maggie Simpson

[Megan Richie voice to the lens] For two episodes, Alex Trebek was a Canadian-American game show host and television personality, best known for hosting Jeopardy!. You families got to know him. He voiced himself in the season 9 episode "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace" in 1997 and the season 24 episode "Penny-Wiseguys" in 2012 and sadly on November 8th after Donald Trump got fired, Alex Trebek passed away, so from all of us here at The Simpsons, our sincere condolences to his family and his friends.

Bart

I was sitting there!

Lisa

I don't see your name on it!

Bart

It's right there!

Marge

Bart, don't write on the rug.

Lisa

Ha-ha. Mom yelled at you.

Bart

Did not.

Lisa

Did too.

Homer

You know, Maggie, the sooner kids talk, the sooner they talk back. [he puts Maggie to bed] I hope you never say a word. [switches the light off, closes the door]

Maggie

[pulls her pacifier out of her mouth] Daddy. [puts her pacifier back on her mouth and goes to sleep as the episode ends]

Lisa

[to Bart] And now you can go back to just being you, instead of a one-dimensional character with a silly catchphrase.

Homer

[breaking a lamp] D'oh!

Bart

Ay, caramba!

Marge

[groans]

Maggie

[sucks her pacifier]

Flanders

Hi-dilly-ho!

Barney

[belches]

Ha, ha!

Mr. Burns

Excellent.

Lisa

If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room. [She walks away.]

Homer

What kind of catchphrase is that?

Willie

You're still not in your own world, Homer. I can get ya home, but you have to do exactly as I-- (jab) AAARRRGGGHHH!!! [collapses with an ax in his back; Maggie removes her pacifier]

Maggie

[In James Earl Jones's voice] This is, indeed, a disturbing universe.

Marge

I can't believe it. Jerry Springer didn't solve our conflict.

Lisa

And now he's dead.

Kang

Any-Hoo, this is your last chance. Turn over the baby now!

Kodos

Or we will destroy all your leaders in Washington!

Marge

[not intimidated] Oh, you can't destroy every politician!

Kang

[darkly] Just watch us.

Bart

Don't forget Ken Starr!

Marge

Suckers.

Homer

Come on, Maggie. Let’s go home.

Maggie

[In Kang’s voice] Very well, I’ll drive. [Maggie laughs maniacally as the screen fades to black and starting opening credits showrunner.] I need blood. [After the credits of showrunner, Halloween ending theme music is hear of end credits roll. After the credits, Regis Philbin yells]

My eyes! My beautiful eyes!

Homer

The food at the Gilded Truffle really ... What's a good word?

Maggie

[sucks on pacifier]

Homer

Sucks! That's great! And the bread was really ... Come on, help me out here!

Ruff!

Homer

Rough? I don't know, you've been pitching that all night.

Chewy?

Homer

Chewy! That's inspired!

Lisa

[about the aliens' episode introduction] So what do aliens have to do on Halloween?

Maggie

[in Kang's voice] Silence! [shoots Lisa with her raygun]

Maggie

[starts drinking Homer's beer]

Marge

Maggie, give me that! [takes the beer away from her]

Marge

Homie, I don't think we should build a fence. Haven't we always taught the children to make friends with those who are a little different?

Lisa

Yes!

Bart

Yeah!

Maggie

Ja! [Marge gasps.]

Maggie

Ja! Ja!

Homer

[in a tense voice] Now do you see Marge? [grasping Maggie] Now do you see why we must build that fence?

Marge

BUILD IT, HOMIE! MAKE IT AS TALL AS THE SKY AND DEEPER THAN HELL!

Maggie

Ja! Ja!

Homer

Aw, water soup again?

Marge

Now, it's crow soup.

Homer

Ooh, I call an eye!

Lisa

Me too!

Bart

Me three!

Marge

And Maggie gets the break.

Maggie

Aaaeeey! Uh-Ah!

Marge

Maggie, sweetie. You should be in bed.

Maggie

No one leaves alive!

Marge

Ooooh, her first words!

Dr. Hibbert

Someone's starting their terrible twos. [chuckles]

Maggie

Someone's having an affair with his nurse!

Dr. Hibbert

Say "Ahh!"

Maggie

Aaaahhhh-DULTERER!

Maggie

[possessed] I am Pazuzu, demon of the southwest wind!

Lisa

Wait, wait, so you're not even as powerful as the south wind or the west wind? How lame is that?

Maggie

I used to be very important. Google it!

Bart

I'm driving to school today. How am I gonna learn not to kill people if you don't let me practice?

Marge

Maggie, Maggie, rest your voice. You're still getting over that laryngitis.

Maggie

Please, don't let Bart drive. It's too scary. He drives so wiggly and everybody honks at us and yells bad words and shows us fingers.