Homer, Kang is Maggie's father.
[gasps] You intergalactic hussy! How could you?! [starts crying] Was he better than me?
S10Treehouse of Horror IX
I can't believe it. Jerry Springer didn't solve our conflict.
And now he's dead.
Any-Hoo, this is your last chance. Turn over the baby now!
Or we will destroy all your leaders in Washington!
[not intimidated] Oh, you can't destroy every politician!
[darkly] Just watch us.
[Kang and Kodos laugh maniacally as they enter their spaceship and take off.]
Don't forget Ken Starr!
Suckers.
Come on, Maggie. Let’s go home.
[In Kang’s voice] Very well, I’ll drive. [Maggie laughs maniacally as the screen fades to black and starting opening credits showrunner.] I need blood. [After the credits of showrunner, Halloween ending theme music is hear of end credits roll. After the credits, Regis Philbin yells]
RPRegis Philbin
My eyes! My beautiful eyes!
[As the organ music plays in Gracie Films logo, the same as "Treehouse of Horror II" and 20th Century Fox Television logos appears at the end of the episode]
S10When You Dish Upon a Star
[speaking to Homer] You promised to take us to the lake.
I promise you kids lots of things. That's what make me such a good father.
Actually, keeping promises would make you a good father.
No that would make me a great father.
MMan
Sir you can't operate a boat under the influence of alcohol.
Oh, that sounds like a wager to me.
[while parasailing] Ooh, I'm soaring majestically like a candy wrapper caught in an updraft!
When was the last time Barbra Streisand ever did the laundry for you? And when it's time to do the dishes, where's Ray Bolger?! I'll tell you where! Ray Bolger is looking out for Ray Bolger!!!
RHRon Howard
[pitching a movie] And it builds to a powerful emotional climax, where the father has to decide which of his children will live... and which one... will die.
EExecutive
Pass. What else have you got?
RHRon Howard
Well, there's one about a killer robot driving instructor, who travels back in time for some reason.
EExecutive
I'm listening.
RHRon Howard
And this robot- He's got a challenging decision to make about whether his best friend lives... or dies.
EExecutive
Ehh.
RHRon Howard
His best friend's a talking pie.
EExecutive
Sold! Howard, you've done it again!
S10D'oh-in in the Wind
AAbe
[grabbing Homer's arm] Shame on you, boy! Put some damn pants on then pull'em down! Cause it's time for a spankin!
Hear ye, hear ye! The intergalactic jester proclaims this conformity factory closed!
[Kids cheer and burst out of the school]
15 years of loyal service and this is how they tell me? A jester with an invisible proclamation?
Good morning, Starshine, Seth.
[Seth and Munchie gasp to find their garden is empty]
MMunchie
What's going on?
SSeth
What happened to our crops?
I picked them, juiced them, and delivered them to every store in town. Your business is saved.
MMunchie
But there weren't enough vegetables left to fill that order.
That's what I thought of first. But then I found the other garden behind the barn, the one with the camouflaged netting.
MMunchie
Uh-oh.
SSeth
Homer, those were our personal vegetables.
But now the town can benefit from their own nutrients.
YHYoung Homer on mural
How could you let me turn into you?
But-but-but the poncho--
"But-but-but the poncho!" Hit the road, square.
Doctor, will he be all right?
Yes, he was lucky. If that were a gladiola, he'd be dead right now.
Why don't you just pull it out?
[laughs] I'm a doctor, not a gardener.
Couldn't you prune some of the leaves so I can watch TV?
What did I just say?
S10Lisa Gets an "A
And, for the first time ever, our computer lab actually has a computer in it.
[Ralph is sitting at their newly installed computer, engrossed in an educational spelling program]
Hi, Lisa! Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! [the Coleco shows a cat with "C_T" underneath; he types "a" to spell "cat," which prompts a "meow" sound from the computer] I'm learnding.
Aw, way to go, Ralph.
[Bart and Lisa are outside the boys' bathroom]
Hey, I can't go in there!
Relax, there's nothing here you didn't see when Dad boycotted pants.
[Bart and Lisa knock on a closed stall door in the boys' bathroom]
Hang on, I'll buzz you in. [short pause] Buzz.
Hurry up, my arms are getting cold.
[Lisa sneezes inside the freezer. Marge arrives]
Oh my goodness! Homer, get her out of there!
Aw! [pulls Lisa out of the freezer shivering holding an ice cream can]
[Picks the ice cream can from Lisa] Sherbert Hoover? [throws it back on the freezer]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.