[speaking to Homer] You promised to take us to the lake.
I promise you kids lots of things. That's what make me such a good father.
Actually, keeping promises would make you a good father.
No that would make me a great father.
“When You Dish Upon a Star” · Season 10
In this episode: Homer Simpson (4), Lisa Simpson (1)
[speaking to Homer] You promised to take us to the lake.
I promise you kids lots of things. That's what make me such a good father.
Actually, keeping promises would make you a good father.
No that would make me a great father.
Sir you can't operate a boat under the influence of alcohol.
Oh, that sounds like a wager to me.
[while parasailing] Ooh, I'm soaring majestically like a candy wrapper caught in an updraft!
When was the last time Barbra Streisand ever did the laundry for you? And when it's time to do the dishes, where's Ray Bolger?! I'll tell you where! Ray Bolger is looking out for Ray Bolger!!!
[pitching a movie] And it builds to a powerful emotional climax, where the father has to decide which of his children will live... and which one... will die.
Pass. What else have you got?
Well, there's one about a killer robot driving instructor, who travels back in time for some reason.
I'm listening.
And this robot- He's got a challenging decision to make about whether his best friend lives... or dies.
Ehh.
His best friend's a talking pie.
Sold! Howard, you've done it again!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.