Hi! I'm Troy McClure! You might remember me from such self-help videos as Smoke Yourself Thin and Get Confident, Stupid!
S5Bart's Inner Child
BGBrad Goodman
I want you all to close your eyes and listen to your inner child. Listen, what's he saying?
NSNed's Inner Child
Stay on the course big Ned, you're doing super! [Ned smiles]
HSHomer's Inner Child
[points to his mouth] Food goes in here.
It sure does.
MSMoe's Inner Child
[in Italian accent] Hey-a Moe, what's-tha mattah? Ya no talking wit ya accent-a no more.
MMoe
[slaps face] Mamma mia!
A new mood is in the air in Springfield as refreshing as a moistened towelette. Folks are finally accepting their feelings and freely communicating with no holding back. And this reporter thinks it's about [beep]ing time! Of course all these good feelings can be traced to one feisty little scamp who taught us that if it feels good, do it! [squirts whipped cream into his mouth]
Lis, today I am a God.
Is that why you're sitting on an ice cream sandwich?
Ewww...
And I'm really enjoying this so called... iced cream!
Sir, in the spirit of the festival and everything, I'd just like to say that.... I... love you.
BBurns
Hm?
In those colors! [to himself] Oh, who am I kidding? The boathouse was the time!
Darn! They're very slowly getting away!
MMoe
Looks like they're headed for the old mill!
No they're not.
MMoe
Well, let's go to the old mill anyway! Get some cider!
S5Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood
Aw man, how are we supposed to kill the rest of the afternoon?
HHobo
You mustn't kill time boys, you must cherish it, seize the day. Can I have some change to go get me loaded?
Hey, don't bogart that Squishee! [Barney chugs the all-syrup Squishee]
I dunno where you magic pixies came from, but I like your pixie drink.
Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals, except the weasel.
You're lucky. You only joined the Junior Campers. I got a dirty word shaved into the back of my head.
[Skinner walks by and stops when he sees the unseen "dirty word" in the back of Milhouse's head.]
What is it with you kids and that word? [grabs Milhouse] I'm going to shave you bald, young man, until you learn that hair is not a right, it's a privilege.
[While looking for a peanut under the couch, Homer pulls out a 20 dollar bill]
Awww, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut.
HSHomer's Brain
Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Explain how!
HSHomer's Brain
Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Woo-hoo!
[Homer starts running to the door, slips on the peanut he was looking for, and drops the money]
D'OH!
CWChief Wiggum
Ya see anything yet?
Nothing captain, someone took all the beer and cold cuts.
WWiggum
Oh, that's it. I'm not even casting off until we go to the store.
S5The Last Temptation of Homer
[first lines]
The beauty of it is, each parking space is a mere one foot narrower indistinguishable to the naked eye but therein lies the game!
I fear to watch! I cannot turn away!
[Charlie is explaining to Mr., Burns about the gas leak]
CCharlie
Well, sir, I won't bore you with the details of our miraculous escape, but we desperately need a real emergency exit.
Why, that's a fabulous idea. Anything else you'd like? How about real lead in the radiation shields? Urinal cakes, maybe? [hands Smithers a notebook] Smithers, throw this at him. [Smithers throws the book at Charlie. Mr. Burns right hand reaches under his desk and presses a button. A tube covers Charlie and sucks him upwards] Smithers, where does that tube go?
I'm not sure, sir; it was here when we moved in.
[Charlie then finds himself in an unnamed foreign country inhabited by cackling men wearing turbans. He is forced to dance to sitar music.]
MMen
Dance! Dance! Dance! Dance! [Charlie does so. The men start ululating maniacally]
DLDepartment of Labor Agent
This plant violates every labor law in the book! We found a missing Brazilian soccer team working in your reactor core!
That plane crashed on my property!
Moe, I need your advice.
MMoe
Yeah?
You see, I have this friend named Joey Joe Joe...Junior...Shabadoo.
MMoe
Homer, that's the worst name I've ever heard. [a man in the bar runs out, crying]
Hey, Joey Joe Joe!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.