TV show quotes
[seeing the White House with Colonel Klink] Marge lives here?
[voice only] Madam President, your approval rating is soar. [Marge murmurs]
[sing-songy] This dream is over! [pops, Homer sends back in the phone booth]
[sees Homer stuck in the phone booth being knocked over] Hey, You! Get Out Of My Office!
[An alarm starts blaring at the power plant]
Someone is charging room service to the company, sir.
Well we'll just see about that! [uncovers a cage hold several winged monkeys] Fly, my pretties! Fly! [the monkeys leap out of the window, only to plummet to their deaths] Oh...[to Smithers] Continue the research.
[to bullies in his normal self] Gentlemen, the nerd you knew is dead. Beat me, and you will be beating one of your own.
Whatever! [they beat Bart anyway]
[Homer puts on a pair of horn-rimmed glasses he finds floating in a toilet bowl.]
The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.
That's a right triangle, ya idiot!
D'oh!
Thank you for visiting our plant, Dr. Kissinger.
It was fun.
We'll let you know if your glasses turn up.
Yes well, I'm sure I left them in the car. [thinking] No one must know I dropped them in the toilet. Not I, the man who drafted the Paris Peace Accords.
Scott, things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the Unemployment Office, joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors... now at the risk of sounding unpopular, this reporter places the blame for all of this squarely on you [pointing at the camera] the viewers!
The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother. I call him Gamblor; and it's time to free your mother from his neon claws.
I don't wanna get a sore spot, but can we talk about herpes? Herpes, herpes, bo-berpes, banana fana fo-ferpes! Herpes, OH!! Hey! Y'know that spot on Gorbachev's head? Herpes, trust me! Anybody here have herpes? Huh? Huh? You people are the worst audience I've ever seen!
Yeah, well you're the worse comedian WE'VE ever seen!
Great! Then we'll just sit here silently for the next 90 minutes!
Fine with us! [Krusty then sits down on stage in dismay]
I'm afraid Robert Goulet hasn't arrived yet, sir.
Very well, begin the thawing of Jim Nabors.
Excuse me, ma'am, don't you think you've gambled enough?
No.
Okay. We're required by law to ask every 75 hours. Get her another free drink.
[Bart brings Robert Goulet to his treehouse casino]
Are you sure this is the place? I think I should call my manager.
Your manager says for you to shut up!
[surprised] Vera said that?
[grabbing Marge] Yer gotta redda kid forrad yarrar!
Homer, what is it? Slow down!
[slowly, but still furious] J'yer gedda ferda redderarrar.
Think before you say each word.
You broke a promise to your child.
What?
You promised Lisa to help her with her costume. You made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed -- she's such a little trooper.
[horrified] The burglar even took my stamp collection!
[amused] You had a stamp collection?
[The family all laugh at Bart, and the phone rings. Bart answers it.]
[on the phone] Stamp collection? Ha-ha!
Hordes of panicky people seem to be evacuating the town for some unknown reason. Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?
Mmm, yes I would, Kent.
Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forty percent of all people know that.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
