BBookie
Here's your money, soaked in your daughter's tears.
Y'know, for a bartender bookie, you're awfully judgmental.
S20Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words
Mr. S. Lisa B.
S20MyPods and Boomsticks
Greetings! It is I, your insanely great leader Steve Mobbs. I'm speaking to you from Mapple headquarters deep beneath the sea with an announcement that will change the way you look at everything. And that announcement is...
[speaking through a microphone over Mobbs' visual]...you're all losers!
[the crowd moans in disappointment]
You think you're cool because you buy a $500 phone with a picture of a fruit on it. Well guess what, they cost eight bucks to make and I pee on every one!
[the crowd gasps in horror]
I have made a fortune off you chumps. And I've invested it all in Microsoft. Now my boyfriend Bill Gates and I kiss each other on a pile of your money!
Praise to Oliver!
MMina
That's Allah.
We'll look it up in the Corona.
BBashir
[holding up Bart's sling shot] Bart forgot this, sir.
"Sir?" That's the kind of respect I'd have to strangle out of an American kid!
1200 Dollars?! But I only downloaded... 1212 songs.
S20The Burns and the Bees
Hmmm, Men, the room for me.
Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second grade babies.
Why would I want to?
Because I said "I dare you." Kearney, can you read it back?
[Reading] "Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second-grade babies.
Why would I want to?
Because I said 'I dare you.' Kearney, can you read it back?
[Reading] Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to--"
The point is, Simpson, a dare has been placed on your nards.
My nards accept.
Who is that man and why isn't his enthusiasm being punished?
That's Mark Cuban, sir. He's the most flamboyant owner in the league.
MCMark Cuban
[Slides down a zip line from a hook while holding a fire cracker.] [enthusiastically] I'M OUT OF MY MIND!
Dad, all the bees are dying.
Oohh no more bees! Now who'll sting me and walk over my sandwiches?
But without bees there would be no flowers.
[scoffs] Flowers: The painted whores of the plant world.
[Walks into a tree, and falls over. He then points at the tree.] Kill his acorns and make him watch.
BMBumblebee Man
Stop, I'm one of you!
BBee
[buzzing] We hate you the most, uncle Tom!
S20Lisa the Drama Queen
Hey Mom, can Juliet sleepover?
Are your parents okay with that? They've never met us.
We could be murderers.
Could have been, if we hadn't had kids.
Nice doorbell. Is it computerized?
Hey, that was... [hits Bart]
Ow!
Homer!
Well, we... I... You come up with an excuse! [hits Bart again]
Ow!
You can't keep Juliet and me apart! I'll... I'll disobey!
I'm Bart Simpson's mother, do you think you've got any tricks I haven't seen. [Leaves the room.]
[Lisa climbs out the window and slides down the tree only to land in a laundry basket being held by Marge.]
Bart Simpson: Age 3. [Marge takes the laundry basket with Lisa back inside.]
[Comes out of a hidden door in the tree dressed in black.] Bart Simpson: Age 10. Mhwahahahaha!
Are you saying Lisa is not at the Model U.N.?
[Dressed as a Belgian delegate.] To the extent you can trust the word of a Belgian...yes!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.