Jimbo Jones quotes from The Simpsons

[clucks and flaps his arms; to Nelson] Chicken!

Hey, hot dog.

Bart

What? [crashes into a lamp post]

Nice dismount, man. [he and his friends laugh]

Bart

Didn't hurt.

Kearney

Oh, yeah? Well, do it again!

Bart

Nah. Might land on my face and end up looking like you.

Hey, what gives? Where are the mountain bikes?

Principal Skinner

[appears] Sorry about the ruse, gentlemen. You're being swept under the rug for the superintendent's visit. Enjoy. [closes the door and locks them in]

How are we going to get out of here?

And when are we going to get our mountain bikes?

Principal Skinner

[outside of the room] Would the world judge me harshly if I threw away the key?

Groundskeeper Willie

Nay, but the PTA would tear you a new arse.

Principal Skinner

Wise counsel, William, but the potty talk adds nothing.

Willie

Aye, sir. [under his breath] Ye bath-takin', underpants-wearin', lily-hugger.

[beating up Bart] This is for wasting teacher's valuable time!

Lisa

[punches Jimbo, pulls his shirt half over his head] Lay off, guys! He's with me.

[points at Bart] It's a lucky coincidence you happen to be your sister's brother.

Lisa

Don't worry, Bart, they won't bother you any more.

Skinner

I hardly ever let Mother fight for me any more! [laughs]

Sorry, Bart, I'm going to hang out with Lisa...for protection...and to be seen!

Stand behind the yellow line. You will now receive your gift donated by the port of authority lost and found office. Pass your chip to Santa to receive your Christmas present. If you do not have a chip, you will not receive a gift.

Whoa, the March Aid newspaper.

[receiving a carpet samples book] Cool, a book of carpet samples.

Bart

Come on new bike. [drops his chip in and is disappointed when he receives a dirty wig] Aw, a soiled wig.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

The gin in your martini

We remember our first visit

The service was exquisite

Why Joseph, I had no idea!

Come on now, you were working here

Without it we'd have had no fun since March of 1961!

Bart

To shut it down now would be twisted

We just heard this place existeeeeed!

Man, that horse don't take no guff from nobody.

Guff?!

I mean shi-- [both punch Nelson]

Hey Simpson, I hear your sister dumped Christianity.

Bart

Who cares?

Dolph

I'll tell you someone who cares. He's got long hair, works as a carpenter, has a lot of crazy ideas about love and brotherhood.

His name's Gunner and he's dating my mom. Sometimes, he buys us beer.

Bart

I thought Kearney was dating your mom.

Kearney

Hey, she came on to me.

Get him! (The bullies -- and Bart -- pummel Kearney)

[singing] Ooh, my little pretty one, my pretty one. When you gonna give me some time, Sharona. Ooh, you make my motor run, my motor run. Got it comin' off of the line, Sharona. Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind. I always get it up for the touch of the younger kind. My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!

Homer

[offscreen] That song is a pop music footnote. [pause] I didn't say stop.

[singing] M-m-m-my Sharona!

Kearney

[in a hot-air balloon] To Istanbul!

Wrong Way, Dingus!

Kearney

This movie isn't silent, I can hear it sucking!

And all the snacks we bought are "heart-smart".

Dolph

[referring to snack] What the hell is a radish anyway? It's like an apple did it with an onion.

Seymour Skinner

Hmmm, Men, the room for me.

Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second grade babies.

Bart

Why would I want to?

Because I said "I dare you." Kearney, can you read it back?

Kearney

[Reading] "Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second-grade babies.

Bart

Why would I want to?

Because I said 'I dare you.' Kearney, can you read it back?

Kearney

[Reading] Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to--"

The point is, Simpson, a dare has been placed on your nards.

Bart

My nards accept.

[in front of the class] You're children. Why do you all need cell phones?

Safety.

Emergencies.

Safety.

Educational.

Your fists are your sisters?

Dolph

Yeah, Pocahontas and Sacagawea!

Bart

Nice save.

Lisa

Why does someone become a bully?

Neglect.

Dolph

Abuse.

Kearney

I'm a Cubs fan.