Greetings! It is I, your insanely great leader Steve Mobbs. I'm speaking to you from Mapple headquarters deep beneath the sea with an announcement that will change the way you look at everything. And that announcement is...
[speaking through a microphone over Mobbs' visual]...you're all losers!
[the crowd moans in disappointment]
You think you're cool because you buy a $500 phone with a picture of a fruit on it. Well guess what, they cost eight bucks to make and I pee on every one!
[the crowd gasps in horror]
I have made a fortune off you chumps. And I've invested it all in Microsoft. Now my boyfriend Bill Gates and I kiss each other on a pile of your money!
