Mr. Simpson, you're suffering from PSI. Poor self esteem. What a minute! That's not I! [yelling] Every sign is wrong!
S16The Heartbroke Kid
S16A Star is Torn
Hey-hey, kids! Do you have what it takes to be a singing sensation? A dynamite voice? Ruthless, pushy parents? A void in your self-esteem that can only be filled by applause? Oh, God, I know that void. Then you were born to enter Krusty's Li'l Starmaker singing competition!
DVDisclaimer voice
Not affiliated with American Idol. We've never even heard of American Idol.
The winner will be animated into an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon! So enter today, especially if you're a funny-looking kid who doesn't know he sucks!
[starts dialing the number] I'm coming Krusty!
A B C D E F G. [long pause] How I wonder what you are.
[about Cameron as he walks onstage in a flashy costume and shades] He's about to learn one of the most important lessons in the music business: don't trust people in the music business.
CCameron
[singing] I'm a privileged boy, it's great, I gotta tell ya. Privileged boy, my dad could buy and sell ya. It really doesn't matter that you're on the list in front of me. I'm gonna get your table 'cause I always tip the maitre d'. And then I'll go to Yale, [shows a diploma] because I am a legacy! [down on one knee and pointing at the crowd] I'm better than you!
CCrowd
BOOOO!!
You SUCK, Johnny Rainbow!
[as he tears up a picture of "Johnny Rainbow"] I believed in you!
S16Thank God It's Doomsday
This is Marge from downtown Springfield, where overweight doomsayer Homer Simpson is predicting the world will end next Wednesday! Homer, what turned you from sad drunk to mad monk?
Funny story, Marge- [to the camera] IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!! GOD LOVES YOU!! HE'S GONNA KILL YOU!! [to Marge] Here's my angle: there's no way in God's Heaven I should get into God's Heaven. But maybe He'll let me in, if I warn others the Apocalypse is coming as I previously shouted.
[Homer sees his family, but their usual surroundings are now covered in a hell-like setting with lava surrounding their home. Bart is running around in the lava being chased by locusts. Maggie is on top of a bin being scared by an evil teddy bear. Lisa runs by screaming.]
[screams] Why didn't we listen to dad?!
[her hair covered in snakes] The worst part is I'll never see my Homie again!
That's the worst part? Then I'm not doing my job! [laughs evilly, Marge is heard screaming as Homer watches in horror]
Lord, you got a first-class destination resort here, really top notch, but I can't enjoy myself knowing my family is suffering.
Oh, don't you talk about family suffering with me! My son went to Earth once. I don't know what you people did to him, but he hasn't been the same ever since. [shows Jesus sitting on a swing looking down and spinning slowly]
He'll be fine.
[To God] You have just made a powerful enemy!
[to Homer] Hey, Nostra-dumbass, did the Rapture come? I can't recall. In fact, I can recall, and it didn't and you suck.
Homer, I'm glad you're finally getting some exercise, but i just wish it wasn't crazy exercise.
I don't want to die, I wanna to next to Kathy Griffin!
The Book of Revelations has 404 verses. And the number of people at the Last Supper minus the number of Filipinos in the Bible, and you get?
[The Rapture doesn't happen]
Haw! Haw! Life goes on!
S16Home Away From Homer
[confused about the "Kosovo Autumn" movie they saw] What language is this, Gibby Gabby?
What are you kids laughing at? And if you say Jimmy Fallon, I'll know you're lying! [notices something] Scantily clad co-eds? Why, you little...! [strangles Bart down his throat]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.