Misfits quotes

Tony

This is it. It's your chance to do something positive. Give something back. You can help people, you can really make a difference to people's lives. That's what community service is all about. There are people out there who think you're scum. You have an opportunity to show them they're wrong.

Nathan

Yeah, but what if they're right? [Looks at Gary] No offence. [Pointing at Gary] But I'm thinking some people are just born criminals.

You're looking to get stabbed?

Nathan

You see my point there?

Alisha

What? I thought you had finished!

Tony

You see my lips still moving, this means I'm still talking!

Nathan

Yeah, but you could have been yawning or... chewing.

Kelly

Ehm, what makes you think you’re better than us?

Nathan

What is that accent?!

Curtis

Is that for real?

Kelly

What are you trying to say something, yeah?

Nathan

It’s a- are you- that’s just a noise! Are we supposed to be able to understand her?!

Kelly

[licks him off] Do you understand that?

Nathan

What about you, weird kid? Don't take this in the wrong way or anything, but you look like a pantie-sniffer.

Simon

I'm not a pantie-sniffer. I'm not a pervert. [Nathan mimes masturbating and makes strange noises, teasing him] I tried to burn someone's house down!

Nathan

Verrr!

Kelly

A girl called me a slag so I just got into a fight.

Nathan

Was this on The Jeremy Kyle Show?

Kelly

No, it was at Argos.

Kelly

What did you do?

Nathan

Me? I was done for eating some pick 'n' mix.

Kelly

Bollocks.

Tony

It's my car!

Nathan

Ha, classic!

Nathan

I'll tell you who did it, it's that Banksy prick. There is a hidden meaning. It's like that monkey police man with a banana and a Tesco's bag.

Kelly

You know, after the storm, did any of you's start feeling dead weird?

Nathan

Yeah, I had a strange tingling sensation in my anus.

Nathan

A group of young people doing mindless shit all day. Face it man it's bound to happen. It always does. It's biology. Or physics. One of those. Do we have a deal? [Spits on his hand]

Curtis

No.

Curtis

They said 'cause of my profile, they needed to send a message.

Nathan

You let yourself down. You let the kids down. You let your parents down.

Alisha

Me and my mate Chloe are having cocktails in this bar, yeah? And she's hassling me 'cause she wants to go to this party. Chloe's on one, because she thinks Jack is doing Lucy. Total slut fuck. So, we get in my car. I drive us to the party. We go into one of the rooms, yeah. Jack’s not doing Lucy; he’s doing Ellie. She is a proper slut. Chloe freaks. I’m driving us back into town. Chloe's all like, "Ugh. I feel sick." I'm like, "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Don't puke in my car. Do not. Puke. In my car." That’s when the police pull us over. I’m already banned from driving, so I am like, "Fu...ck". This cop, yeah, he hands me the breathalyzer, and I’m like, "Do I suck, or blow?" [Starts to suck the bottle] It’s insane, I’m totally working it, yeah? [Continues sucking the bottle] Now I don't know if this cop is gay or what but he tells me I'm five times over the limit. Fucking bullshit. I didn't even want to go to the party.

Nathan

OK. If you can hear our thoughts, what am I thinking? [thinks “This is bullshit”]

Kelly

Do you think it's bullshit?

Nathan

Of course I think it's bullshit, you don't need to be a mind reader to know that.

Kelly

Why are you on a wheelchair?

Nathan

It was the storm. The strange tingling sensation in my anus is spread to my body, and now... I can't feel my legs.

Kelly

I'm serious

Nathan

I'm no doctor, but you see the way the side of his head's all caved in like that...?

Simon

If there is no body, there is no crime.