Abby quotes from Misfits

Greg

Do you know... What today is?

Tuesday?

Greg

Today... is the last day of your community service. It's all over.

Jess

Seriously?

Finn

Are you kidding?

Greg

Now you had a chance to do something positive. To give something back, to help people, to really make a difference to their lives. You've failed. Dismally. Do you want to know what the real tragedy is? This moment, right here, right now... this is as good as it gets for you.

I like the idea of being a nurse. Or a shepherd.

Alex

What qualifications do you need to be a shepherd?

Rudy

You need a crop. Well-trained border collie, and a profound love of sheep, love.

Alex

I'll tell you where I'm not gonna be in a year's time, and that is working behind a bar.

Rudy

I, for one, will be enjoying my life [pulls out a scratch card out of his pocket] as a multi-millionaire!

Rudy

[Walks in wearing pajamas] Do you know, what I was doing, when you so... rudely interrupted me?

Alex

I'm guessing it wasn't showering?

Rudy

I was 19. And a half hours into a Murder She Wrote marathon.

Finn

Jess is back.

Where is she?

Alex

She's in the shitter. She said something about some bloke who's thrown her forward through time. [Rudy is sobbing]

Finn

You okay?

Rudy

[Crying] I'm fine. I'm fine. So, the worm's returned, [moving his finger like a worm] with her fucking bushy tail between her legs. It's too late, guys. It's too late. Because I've forgot about her very existence. [Crying again] She's back! Jessica's back. Oh, man. [Collapses on the floor crying]

Finn

Here's to the future.

Jess

Oh, about the future, I've just been.

Am I a shepherd?!

Jess

Erm... You are holding a golf sale sign, for a golf sale that doesn't exist. [Points at Alex] You're still working behind the bar. [Looks at Finn] And you are a trainee probation worker.

Finn

Fuck off!

Rudy

Honest- Shame on you, Finley! Deep humiliating shame. [Back to Jess] I'm a multimillionaire, aren't I? [she starts to speak] Got 'em! No, no, no, don't tell me. Don't tell me, I want it to be a surprise. Wink twice, for yes.

Jess

You win a quid, piss yourself and then you get electrocuted.

Rudy

Colour me disappointed.

Jess

I'm just saying, unless we want to spend the rest of our lives as these underachieving fuck-ups, then maybe we should think about actually doing something with our powers.

What you mean, like, open up a fast food restaurant?

Jess

No, I mean like becoming proper superheroes. Good ones that do good shit.

Alex

Superheroes, I'm up for that.

Rudy

I might have to make a few modifications. Just on me costume... just on account of me- I've got irritable bowel syndrome. And shitting in lycra is how I got banned from the gym.

Finn

No offence, but you lot... Superheroes? Fuck it! All right, yeah, let's do it.

Rudy

This could be the start of something huge. I can feel it in me nut sack.