Seth quotes from Misfits

Seth

[Nathan walks into office] Hi. So, what have you got?

Nathan

Immortality.

Seth

So, that's off the A list. How much d'you want for it?

Nathan

I will not settle for a penny less... than £1 million.

Curtis

I need my power back.

Seth

That's not going to be possible.

Curtis

What're you talking about?

Seth

I don't have it.

Curtis

What d'yah mean, you don't have it?

Seth

I sold it to an old Jewish guy. He said he wanted to rewind time and kill Hitler. You've got to admire his ambition.

Kelly

You either get him his power back, or I'm going to start kicking you in the balls.

Nathan

Yeah, I've seen her do it. You won't enjoy it one little bit.

Simon

[Waiting to see Seth] He said if we've got the money, we can take our pick.

Seth

[All community servers silently standing before Seth] Okay. So who's first? [All community servers are unresponsive]

Kelly

[Walks forward] You're all such pussies! I'll do it. [Sits in front of Seth letting him take her hand and connects with him]

Seth

And what can I do for you?

Kelly

There's this girl on the estate, yeah? She used a power to make it look like me and my mates trashed a car, the police are after us.

Seth

And you're telling me because?

Kelly

I thought you could do something about it, take her power or something.

Seth

Oh, right, did you? [Feigns searching at desk] Right, well, I'll just find my cape and tights and get on it.

Kelly

You think this is funny, don't you? Do you see me laughing?

Seth

I don't think I've ever seen you smile.

Kelly

'Cause you always sit there with a massive shit-eating grin on your face. Mister Fucking Happy! Look, are you gonna do something about this girl or not?

Seth

I... really don't see that happening.

Kelly

You don't give a shit about anyone, do you?

Seth

I give a shit about me.

Kelly

And just so you know, this new power. It's rubbish.

Seth

But you're a rocket scientist.

Kelly

Yeah, and you're a dick!

Seth

Come by any time.

Seth

[Looking under vehicle engine hood] Piece of shit! Won't start. I don't know why I opened the bonnet. I don't know what I'm looking at.

Kelly

D'you want me to take a look?

Seth

What, you know about cars?

Kelly

Well, I know about electronics, cause I'm a fucking rocket scientist, aren't I? [Makes an adjustment] Try it now. [Engine turns over]

Seth

Thanks. You want a lift? Look, you've already undermined my masculinity. At least let me drive you somewhere. Get in. Where to?

Kelly

There. [Seth drives a short distance] Thanks for the lift.

Seth

Any time. I owe you.

Kelly

Well, you can give us a new power if you want.

Seth

I don't owe you that much. Right, see you around.

Shaun

[Takes off Seth's hood in interrogation] Morning.

Seth

What do you want with me?

Shaun

Oh, I think you know what we want from you. 'Cause if you didn't, we wouldn't have found you being smuggled off the estate in the boot of a car. You'd have taken the bus... like a normal person. Now... you're gonna test some people... to see if they've got one of these powers. And if they have, you're gonna take it off 'em and you're gonna stick it in whoever I tell you to stick it in. Got it? Right!

Seth

[Referring to Friedrich stabbed by Hitler What's wrong with him?

Simon

He was stabbed. I think his wound's infected.

Seth

Well, can't you take him to a hospital or summat?

Simon

Nazis aren't big on compassion.

Seth

Aren't you one of 'em?

Simon

I was conscripted. I'll do what I can for him.

Officer Smith

[Walks into Seth's cell] So... I hear you've been doing good work for us.

Seth

Is that what you call it?

Officer Smith

How does this work?

Shaun

Oh, he's... he's gotta touch you.

Officer Smith

[Leans into Seth] You know... I can make life very unpleasant for you.

Shaun

You're all done. It's like taking candy from a baby.

Officer Smith

[To Gary mopping] You've missed a patch. We can't keep this man locked in a dirty cell. Just there. [Gary reluctantly walks in and Officer Smith kills him by freezing him] That's very good.

Kelly

So what's the story with your power?

Seth

Started off just dealing a bit of gear to mates. It took off from there. After a while, I was dealing to the dealers. It's addictive, the buzz. Staying one step ahead of the police. I wanted to be the ultimate dealer. Then the storm hit. Guess I got my wish. I never... thanked you for... saving my life.

Kelly

You shouldn't be thanking me for anything. I was gonna kill you. We had to stop the Nazis from getting the powers. I put poison in your food.

Seth

Well, why did you save me?

Kelly

When I saw you hanging there, I just couldn't do it. Sorry I tried to kill you, yeah?

Seth

Glad you didn't.

Kelly

I guess I've got a soft spot for suicide cases.

Seth

Tart with a heart.

Kelly

Who are you calling a fuckin' tart?

Seth

No, I didn't mean... well, you're not.

Officer Smith

So you have the power? And now, you can put it back in him.

Shaun

He's just taken it out of him.

Officer Smith

We can't afford for anyone to have this power. Too much could change. It dies with the old man.

Shaun

I won't do it.

Officer Smith

[Grabs Simon and shoves him into position to shoot Friedrich] Shoot him. Shoot the old man. Take out your side arm, and shoot him. That is a direct order!

Shaun

Take your fucking gun out and shoot him! [Officer Smith shoots Friedrich]

Officer Smith

Get him out!

Curtis

[Walks in] Take your fucking hands off me.

Rudy

Leave him alone!

Officer Smith

Put the power in him. I will shoot... EVERY PERSON IN THESE CELLS UNITL YOU DO AS I SAY!

Curtis

Don't do it.

Seth

I'm sorry. [Puts power into Curtis]

Officer Smith

[Shoots Curtis in the head and shoots him twice more] And that's the end of that.

Officer Smith

You're completely surrounded, so I suggest you drop your weapons.

Seth

Get behind me. They won't shoot me.

Officer Smith

Give it up. We just want him. The rest of you are free to go.

Shaun

Nah, I'm pretty sure he's lying.

Alisha

'Course he's fucking lying!

Seth

Stay with me. I faked it. I didn't put the power in Curtis. I've still got it. Get the phone.

Kelly

What phone?

Seth

Hitler. Get the phone. [Seth kisses Kelly transferring his power]

Kelly

[Seth slumps down lifeless] No! You're not allowed to die! [Kelly sees flashes of alternate history being undone]

Seth

So me and you fought the Nazis and I died? They shot you. In this... alternative version of history... me and you, did we...?

Kelly

Did we shag? No. You kissed me when you gave me the power.

Seth

Did I? And how was that?

Kelly

It was all right. So I want this bullshit rewind power out of me. I am done fucking with history. You have to promise me you won't let anyone else have it. Promise, yeah?

Seth

I don't wanna die, so... I'll put it in me pet iguana for safekeeping.

Kelly

I never had you down as someone who'd have a pet lizard.

Seth

Yeah, well, there's a lot you don't know about me. I know that you're not the person you make out to be.

Kelly

You act like you don't give a shit about anyone. That's rubbish.

Seth

So what d'you want instead?

Kelly

I kind of liked being a fuckin' rocket scientist.

Shaun

[Getting a pop can from vending machine and stops to see Kelly in hallway] What the fuck are you looking at?

Kelly

Nothin'.

Alisha

[Appears with other community servers] Where have you been?

Kelly

Just been fighting the fuckin' Nazis and kicking the shit out of Hitler. [Walks away]

Kelly

[Pounds on Seth's apartment door and Seth answers] Where is she?!

Seth

Kelly, don't do this!

Kelly

She's a fucking zombie!

Seth

What?! What are you talking about?

Kelly

When you bring people back from the dead, they turn into a zombie! We just had to kill some old woman, a cat ate her face! Curtis brought her cat back from the dead. It went zombie!

Who's she?

Kelly

I was his girlfriend until he dug you up!

Seth

Look, it's not like you think.

What's she talking about?

Seth

It's nothing.

Kelly

You're a zombie!

I'm a what?!

Kelly

You have to kill her before she bites you.

Seth

Right, get out. [Pushes Kelly out door]

Kelly

You've got to kill her! She's gonna bite... She's a fucking zombie!

Seth

You stay away from her!

Kelly

She's a zombie and she's going to kill you, Seth! [Goes in apartment and closes door with Kelly pounding on it] Open the fucking door!

Seth

We only got together when I thought I couldn't bring you back.

Just stay away from me!

Seth

Kelly said you wanted to see me.

Simon

I need Curtis's old power.

Seth

I put it in my iguana. He's dead. The power's gone.

Simon

I have to go back in time. It has to be like this.

Seth

Right, well... There is another time travel power out there. I sold it to this guy. It's different to what he had. There's no coming back.

Simon

Who did you sell it to?