Elliot quotes from Misfits

How are you doing that?

Elliot

I'm Jesus Christ... and I have been reborn.

Elliot

[Preaching to housing estate residents] I am here to help you change your life today, right now, this moment! I know what it's like living on this estate! I know what it's like to feel disappointment, to feel pain to feel angry...

Nathan

[Bumps a woman's shoulder] What's all this?

Our Lord, Jesus Christ, has risen again!

Nathan

Right. Good for him. [Walks away]

Marnie

It's nice he's come back in time for Christmas.

Nathan

Yeah.

Elliot

...and I promise you, I will change your lives forever, this day, this moment!

[Pokes gun into woman's torso demanding her donation bucket] Give us the money. Do it!

Elliot

I know what it's like to... [notices mugger] did no one ever tell you that stealing is a sin?

Who are you?

Elliot

I'm Jesus Christ.

Yeah? Well, I need to score, [points gun at Elliot] so you're getting robbed.

Elliot

I don't think so. [Uses power to levitate gun out of man's hand and crowd applauds]

It's another miracle!

Elliot

[Points at mugger] You need to do some serious repenting. If you wish to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, you must give generously, so that we can spread the word of our Lord. Spread. [Crowd puts money in donation bucket]

Jesus. I... I shot someone

Elliot

You did what!?

She was just a girl. I killed her!

Elliot

Are you sorry? ... Then God forgives you.

Seriously? Just like that?

Elliot

Just like that. Everything bad you've ever done. All the stealing, drugs and masturbating. Don't worry about it. You're forgiven.

Kelly

You can't go around pretending to be Jesus. What's God going to say?

Marnie

You haven't even got a beard!

Elliot

Hey! I gave my life to Him. I went without money and sex. What a joke! I preached and prayed, and no-one gave a shit. You do a few miracles, everyone thinks you're the messiah. Have you seen that lot out there? I've given their lives... meaning.

Nathan

I'm sorry. Would you mind getting her to stop? That's very distracting.

Curtis

One of your followers killed my girlfriend.

Simon

You're exploiting the vulnerable.

Kelly

You're taking money of people.

Alisha

Intentionally assaulting girls.

Elliot

Hey, that's the Catholic Church for you.

Nathan

Hey, he's got a point. When I was growing up in Ireland, if the priests weren't fiddling with you, you were one of the ugly kids.

Elliot

If the mountain won't come to Mohammed...

Nathan

Now he's starting on the Muslims!