Kelly Bailey quotes from Misfits

Kelly

[To Curtis attacking Nathan] You hit him again, I'll kick your balls back into your stomach, mate.

Kelly

If you want to spunk all over a girl's tattoos, just ask them, yeah?

Kelly

Nice one. Brilliant fuckin' rescue!

Kelly

[Leaning against wall and watching Nazi soldiers arrest and search a suspect] Fuckin' Nazis!

Kelly

[Sees Seth in his cell] He's fuckin' hung himself! [Opens door with Simon and saves him]

Kelly

[Walks up to two guards at door with two guns behind back] You all right, mate? [Shoots both guards]

Kelly

[Walks up to Hitler] Oi, Hitler. Why have you gotta be such a dick? [Headbutts him and kicks him several times and goes back to the presence]

Kelly

Ehm, what makes you think you’re better than us?

Nathan

What is that accent?!

Curtis

Is that for real?

Kelly

What are you trying to say something, yeah?

Nathan

It’s a- are you- that’s just a noise! Are we supposed to be able to understand her?!

Kelly

[licks him off] Do you understand that?

Kelly

A girl called me a slag so I just got into a fight.

Nathan

Was this on The Jeremy Kyle Show?

Kelly

No, it was at Argos.

Kelly

What did you do?

Nathan

Me? I was done for eating some pick 'n' mix.

Kelly

Bollocks.

Kelly

You know, after the storm, did any of you's start feeling dead weird?

Nathan

Yeah, I had a strange tingling sensation in my anus.

Nathan

OK. If you can hear our thoughts, what am I thinking? [thinks “This is bullshit”]

Kelly

Do you think it's bullshit?

Nathan

Of course I think it's bullshit, you don't need to be a mind reader to know that.

Kelly

Why are you on a wheelchair?

Nathan

It was the storm. The strange tingling sensation in my anus is spread to my body, and now... I can't feel my legs.

Kelly

I'm serious

Simon

Maybe you can fly.

Alisha

He's not gonna be able to fly.

Nathan

Yeah, there's always someone that can fly. Check it out.

Kelly

Don't.

Nathan

Ow! No, that's not it.

Curtis

So what happens now? Is this it? Are we gonna be like this forever?

Simon

What if we are meant to be, like, superheroes?

Nathan

You lot, superheroes? No offence, but in what kind of fucked-up world would that be allowed to happen?

Alisha

I did not sign up for that.

Nathan

Superheroes! I love this guy... you prick!

Kelly

What if there’s load of people like us all over town?

Nathan

No, that kind of thing only happens in America. This will fade away. I’m telling you, by this time next week, it’ll be back to the same old boring shit.

Kelly

[Goes near Stan, the old man] Is he dead? I think he's dead.

Nathan

[Goes near one of the man's hears] SHE'S STEALING YOUR PENSION!

OOH!

Nathan

Nah, he's fine.

[thinking] My mouth's as dry as a badgers chaff!

Kelly

Do you want a cup of tea? [hands him one]

[thinking] Well, bugger me!