Tara quotes from Misfits

Abbey

[Opens washroom stall to Tara] Sorry, are you using that?

I can't handle this. I can't even go to an antenatal class. How am I supposed to have a baby? I thought I could do it, but I can't.

Abbey

[Kneels down] Oh, it's a design fault. Why don't they give us bigger vaginas? I mean, how are you supposed to get something so big out of something so small? Apparently, they suck the life out of your tits, so, er, you can kiss them goodbye.

I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't...

Abbey

[Falls backwards and realizes she's instantly pregnant] What the fuck have you done to me?

I don't know. Um... I don't know. [Runs away]

Abbey

Wait!

Abbey

[Walks into community centre] Oh, yeah? So, what have you come to give me this time? Twins?

Look, I know what you might think of me. That I'm a shit mum, but... I got scared. I've really missed him.

Abbey

Too late. You didn't want him.

Jake. That's what I was gonna call him. I thought I couldn't do it, and I probably can't, but I've got to try. And since he's been gone, he's all I can think about. He is the only thing I've got.

Abbey

You'd better fucking look after him. If he grows up to be a pimp, a child molester or a probation worker, I will kick your arse.

Alex

[In abandoned market stalls] Would you stop sniffing that scarf?

Abbey

There's something about the smell of her. I keep asking girls in the bar if it's theirs, and none of them are her. She's like Cinderella.

Alex

This Cinderella, did you shag her?

Abbey

What? No.

Alex

Cinderella, like in the fairy tale. Pumpkin. Fairy godmother. She had a glass slipper.

[Hits her vehicle with purse] Fucking start, you piece of shit!

No, wait, it's you!

You're the monkey-cheese guy! Why are you looking at me like that?

Because you know my dad, don't you?

[Sitting on bench] He split in two? There's two of him?

You got the shitty end of the stick, mate. Well, the shitty end of the dad.