Misfits · Season 1
This is it. It's your chance to do something positive. Give something back. You can help people, you can really make a difference to people's lives. That's what community service is all about. There are people out there who think you're scum. You have an opportunity to show them they're wrong.
Yeah, but what if they're right? [Looks at Gary] No offence. [Pointing at Gary] But I'm thinking some people are just born criminals.
You're looking to get stabbed?
You see my point there?
What? I thought you had finished!
You see my lips still moving, this means I'm still talking!
Yeah, but you could have been yawning or... chewing.
Ehm, what makes you think you’re better than us?
What is that accent?!
Is that for real?
What are you trying to say something, yeah?
It’s a- are you- that’s just a noise! Are we supposed to be able to understand her?!
[licks him off] Do you understand that?
What about you, weird kid? Don't take this in the wrong way or anything, but you look like a pantie-sniffer.
I'm not a pantie-sniffer. I'm not a pervert. [Nathan mimes masturbating and makes strange noises, teasing him] I tried to burn someone's house down!
Verrr!
A girl called me a slag so I just got into a fight.
Was this on The Jeremy Kyle Show?
No, it was at Argos.
What did you do?
Me? I was done for eating some pick 'n' mix.
Bollocks.
It's my car!
Ha, classic!
I'll tell you who did it, it's that Banksy prick. There is a hidden meaning. It's like that monkey police man with a banana and a Tesco's bag.
You know, after the storm, did any of you's start feeling dead weird?
Yeah, I had a strange tingling sensation in my anus.
A group of young people doing mindless shit all day. Face it man it's bound to happen. It always does. It's biology. Or physics. One of those. Do we have a deal? [Spits on his hand]
No.
They said 'cause of my profile, they needed to send a message.
You let yourself down. You let the kids down. You let your parents down.
Me and my mate Chloe are having cocktails in this bar, yeah? And she's hassling me 'cause she wants to go to this party. Chloe's on one, because she thinks Jack is doing Lucy. Total slut fuck. So, we get in my car. I drive us to the party. We go into one of the rooms, yeah. Jack’s not doing Lucy; he’s doing Ellie. She is a proper slut. Chloe freaks. I’m driving us back into town. Chloe's all like, "Ugh. I feel sick." I'm like, "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Don't puke in my car. Do not. Puke. In my car." That’s when the police pull us over. I’m already banned from driving, so I am like, "Fu...ck". This cop, yeah, he hands me the breathalyzer, and I’m like, "Do I suck, or blow?" [Starts to suck the bottle] It’s insane, I’m totally working it, yeah? [Continues sucking the bottle] Now I don't know if this cop is gay or what but he tells me I'm five times over the limit. Fucking bullshit. I didn't even want to go to the party.
OK. If you can hear our thoughts, what am I thinking? [thinks “This is bullshit”]
Do you think it's bullshit?
Of course I think it's bullshit, you don't need to be a mind reader to know that.
Why are you on a wheelchair?
It was the storm. The strange tingling sensation in my anus is spread to my body, and now... I can't feel my legs.
I'm serious
I'm no doctor, but you see the way the side of his head's all caved in like that...?
If there is no body, there is no crime.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Misfits pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
