Curtis Donovan quotes from Misfits

Curtis

You don't need to use your power on me. I'm already there.

Curtis

[Referring to bar employee Alex, to a smitten Jess] Don't take it personally. [Whispers] I think he might be gay.

Curtis

[On rooftop] I'm really sorry it's come down to this. None of us chose this shit. It's zombie noir, innit? [Aims gun under jaw and discharges it, dying instantly]

Kelly

Ehm, what makes you think you’re better than us?

Nathan

What is that accent?!

Curtis

Is that for real?

Kelly

What are you trying to say something, yeah?

Nathan

It’s a- are you- that’s just a noise! Are we supposed to be able to understand her?!

Kelly

[licks him off] Do you understand that?

Nathan

A group of young people doing mindless shit all day. Face it man it's bound to happen. It always does. It's biology. Or physics. One of those. Do we have a deal? [Spits on his hand]

Curtis

No.

Curtis

They said 'cause of my profile, they needed to send a message.

Nathan

You let yourself down. You let the kids down. You let your parents down.

Curtis

So what happens now? Is this it? Are we gonna be like this forever?

Simon

What if we are meant to be, like, superheroes?

Nathan

You lot, superheroes? No offence, but in what kind of fucked-up world would that be allowed to happen?

Alisha

I did not sign up for that.

Nathan

Superheroes! I love this guy... you prick!

Kelly

What if there’s load of people like us all over town?

Nathan

No, that kind of thing only happens in America. This will fade away. I’m telling you, by this time next week, it’ll be back to the same old boring shit.

Nathan

You can think what you like, but I have a superpower and I just need to find out what it is.

Alisha

Maybe you're just super-retarded.

Nathan

Maybe I've got a whole Spider-Man vibe going on. You know, maybe I can climb stuff and do spider shit.

Curtis

Yeah, because that makes perfect sense. Why would you be able to climb stuff?

Nathan

I don't know. How is it that you can turn back time, apparently, and weird kid can turn invisible? It's not like this whole situation is backed up by a wank-load of logic.

Alisha

He is obviously some kind of pervert, or he's gay.

Curtis

That follows.

Alisha

Well, he was cruising for rough trade. They love that shit.

Curtis

Oh, a little light homophobia. Go for it.

Alisha

You should come out with us some time.

Curtis

I would you know but, my mum told me to stay away from girls like you.

Alisha

Your mum has never met a girl like me.

Simon

If I'm invisible, I can see if anyone puts anything in our lockers.

Curtis

That sounds like a plan. [To Alisha putting on mascara] You alright with that one, yeah?

Alisha

Works for me.

Curtis

[To Simon] Go on then, turn invisible.

Simon

I can't do it when everyone's watching me.

Nathan

So I guess it's like pissing at a urinal if you've got a tiny cock.

Alisha

Well, that's, er, really impressive. [They walk away, then Simons transforms] Hey, you lot! Did you see it?!

Ben

[Leading them] Okay, so, all these clothes have been donated by members of the public and we need to sort them before we ship them to Africa.

Alisha

Just another day in paradise.

Ben

Yeah, well, I'm sure the people receiving them will be grateful for your hard work.

Alisha

They should be. They're getting a new wardrobe.

Curtis

You are so wrong.

Ben

These are the categories to sort them into. It's children's clothes, shoes, coats. That kind of thing. Okay, so, if you've got any questions, just ask. [Nathan pops up hand and Ben nods at him]

Nathan

If a bear and a shark had a fight, who would win?

Ben

If you've got any relevant questions, just ask. [Kelly chuckles] Oh, and if it's on dry land, I'd bet on the bear.

Nathan

[Holds up a shirt to Curtis] Suits you.

Curtis

[Swipes shirt out of Nathan's hand] Fuck off!

Sally

[To Kelly sitting far apart from Jodi on a couch in office] So, have you anything you'd like to say to Kelly?

I've got nothing to say to her!

Sally

Kelly, would you like to tell Jodi why you hit her?

Kelly

Yeah, 'cause if you go around saying someone's a slag, you're gonna get a slap. [Jodi sucks teeth] Is there something up your teeth?!

Sally

Okay, how are you two going to resolve this? [Nathan rollerskates past office window doing a sustained singing note with Kelly amused and Sally opens office door] Take the roller skates off! And the goggles! Take them off!

Nathan

Ah, this is bullshit. We're never gonna be mates!

Kelly

I heard you and Darren broke up.

Yeah.

Kelly

I heard he dumped yah. What's that about?

What is it you?!

Sally

Let's keep things friendly!

Kelly

You're better off without him. He's a rat faced glue sniffer.

Sally

Kelly.

Are you sayin' he's got a rat face?!

Kelly

Yeah, he's a proper ratty.

[Stands up] Don't even be talking about him?!

Kelly

[Stands up] What'd you care?! 'Cause he dumped yah! [Flicks off Jodi's hat who punches Kelly who headbutts Jodi]

Sally

Kelly!

[Mindread by Kelly] You see how it feels, bitch! [To Sally manhandling her out of office] She's getting life! She headbutt me!

Sally

Just get out!

You slut whore!

Sally

Just calm down!

Kelly

[Throws chair out of office] Shut up, you twat!

Sally

Kelly!

Kelly

I was trying to be nice! [Voice of thought] Yeah, I had an attitude.

Curtis

I think that went pretty well.

Alisha

How comes you never talk about when you got arrested?

Curtis

Nothin' to talk about.

Alisha

See? That just makes me more curious. C'mon. Give it up!

Curtis

I was buying some coke. Me and this girl I was seeing. Sam. The police caught us.

Alisha

That sucks.

Curtis

I had one wrap on me. She had the rest of it. She was done for intent to supply.

Alisha

What happened?

Curtis

She went to prison. Six months.

Alisha

Shit. Are you still with her?

Curtis

Everything that was happening... it was too messy.

Alisha

So... you're not with anyone?

Curtis

Nah. [Alisha leans in to him] What? What?

Alisha

[Stroking him] You know what. I know you want to. All I have to do is touch you.

Curtis

Don't.

Alisha

I could have you... any time I want.

Curtis

Quit doing that, man. Leave it!

Alisha

Stop being such a dick! [Alisha grabs his wrist and transforms his mental state with him grabbing her and leading her to washroom] Oh, you're so beautiful!

Alisha

All right, Curtis, wait! Curtis! Curtis!

Curtis

I'm always thinking of you. I just want to be with you. I know you do. Come on.