SSarah
[Talking to Alex] Okay... I'll see you later. [Walks away]
Is she? I'm sure you're very friendly with all the ladies.
Do yourself a favour. Mind your own fuckin' business. [Walks up porch steps]
Maybe I'll make it my business. Maybe... I should go into the business of making your business... my business, and... and then we'll see whose b... business it is. [Alex jerks head forward startling Finn, then Alex chuckles and walks away]
[Opens door to Jess holding a beer bottle] I- I- I thought you were on your community service.
We all ditched it because we had to rescue Rudy's nun. Some other evil bitch nuns were holding her prisoner. [Referring to beer] You got another one of those?
SSarah
[From bedroom] Alex. [Jess walks past Alex]
I thought I was his girlfriend.
I'm... I'm sorry. [Reaches for her hand]
Don't fucking touch me! [Shoves, walks past and slaps Alex]
SSarah
You've got a girlfriend?! Yeah, you're so full of shit!
[Walks out with Sarah sighing onto lakesides promenade] Relax. I am... I am not following you. I just came to get some air. Is that? Is that all right?
SSarah
Be my guest. [Alex walks up to her] Sorry about the other day. It's just this year has been... a fucking nightmare, the power thing. I had to stop seeing my dad. He just couldn't stop staring at them.
Oh, shit, mate! Oh, I didn't even think about that! Nobody needs their dad staring at their tits, do they?
D'you wanna go and get a drink?
SSarah
What kind of a drink? Like a date drink, or a drink drink?
Well, I was just thinking... a drink with alcohol in.
All right. But it isn't a date.
SSarah
All right, fine. It's not a date.
My mate... he got turned into an agent of Satan and I had to fuck him in the arse.
Yeah. Oh, and I almost, almost shagged a tortoise once.
SSarah
So, you do draw the line at shagging animals? Good to know.
Er, so, you, are you... seeing anyone... at the moment, or?
SSarah
Well, when I had my power, it was kinda hard to tell the good guys from the wankers and there have been a lot of wankers.
SSarah
[Unbuttons her sweater] Problem?
Oh, God! Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry! Er, it's just now that I know I'm not supposed to look at them... all I want to do is look at them. You know when you see a dead cat in the road and you don't want to look at it but then the more that you try and stop yourself, the more that you can't help it?
SSarah
Okay. Well, urn, how about I give you one free look, then? Seeing as you took my power.
That would... That would be great.
Awesome. So shall I compliment you on them?
SSarah
Let's just leave the tits, shall we? [Gets her drink] Same again? [Walks away]
MMark
[Walking alongside Abbey] So, this is what you're doing while I'm in your locker eating lettuce.
More or less. [Enters locker room] No, let's check the, er... [sees Sarah in front of her, to Mark] Don't listen to her Latin, don't look at her tits. [To Sarah] Your devil tits don't work on me. I'm a girl.
SSarah
Guess I'm just gonna have to turn your boyfriend inside out, then. [Turns Mark into a skinless corpse] Now I've got your full attention... Ecce satanas meo, sicut ego et ipse regnabit Dominus...
[Appears behind Sarah] So this has been a pretty weird date. [She turns around] Not that it's a date.
SSarah
[Finn and Rudy enter] Leave him. He's mine. What's the matter, Alex? Don't you trust yourself? What's going to happen if you... have a little look? It's just a pair of tits. And you're one of the good guys, remember? You're not some weak, pathetic animal who's ruled by his urges.
There was a girl I used to know. Emma. She was like you. She was a good person who just got the wrong power. She was accident prone. Wasn't her fault. It was just bad things used to happen to her. I'm so sorry, Sarah. You didn't deserve any of this.
SSarah
Oh... I get it. I'm supposed to slip on the banana skin. Any other bright ideas? [Ceiling fluorescent light bar becomes disattached and comes down on her head] Agh!
Misfits · 556 quotes
