Marge, since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
[sighs] Please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Bart, tell Dad I'll only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup, homeboy?
Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Homer, you're not-not talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Uh, Dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Why don't you just eat him, Dad?
[turns red in anger and gets frustrated] I don't need any serving suggestions from you! You barbecue-wrecking, know-nothing know-it-all!
[enraged] THAT'S IT! I CAN'T LIVE IN A HOUSE WITH THIS PREHISTORIC CARNIVORE. I AM OUT OF HERE!
[Lisa furiously leaves the house and angrily slams the door]
THAT'S IT! GO TO YOUR ROOM!
[later in Storytown Village]
FBFather Bear
"Somebody's been sleeping in my bed."
MBMother Bear
"Somebody's been sleeping in my bed."[distorted due to technical problems]
BBBaby Bear
"Somebody's been sleeping in my bed."
[gets up] Well, I'm sorry, but it was 150 degrees in the car!
[During "The Meat Council Presents: Meat and You: Partners in Freedom", Number 3F03 in the "Resistance is Useless" series.]
JJimmy
Mr. McClure, I have a crazy friend who says it's wrong to eat meat. Is he crazy?
[laughing] No, Jimmy, just ignorant. You see, your crazy friend never heard of the food chain. Just ask this scientitian.
He'll tell you that in nature one creature invariably eats another to survive. Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!
JJimmy
Wow, Mr. McClure, I was a Grade A Moron to ever question eating meat.
Ha Ha Ha Ha... Yes you were, Jimmy. Yes you were. [playfully rubs Jimmy's head]
JJimmy
You're hurting me...
[Lisa is about to dissect a worm in class]
WWorm
[in a bleating, lamb-like voice] Lisa! What did I ever do to you?
Why does it talk like a lamb?
Come on, I'll give you a piggyback ride-- Whoops, I mean a veggie-back ride home. Come on.
[Lisa climbs onto Homer's back, and he carries his daughter home]
[The Zip Boys mascots come to life]
OJOld Jewish Man
Fellas! Where are you going at this hour? [their heads, being so huge, fall to the ground under their own weight and they drag them away] Hey! Don't scratch up them heads!
[Seeing a very tall man Chief Wiggum pulls out his gun and shoots him]
Aw, they're not so tough.
Um...Chief, that wasn't a monster. That was the captain of the high school basketball team.
Uh, yeah, well, he was turning into a monster, though.
[Lard Lad's giant donut is in the middle of the Simpsons' living room, along with Homer lying in the center of it. The doorbell rings, and Homer is greeted by the angry face of Lard Lad]
Hello? Yes? Oh...if you're looking for that giant donut, uh..Flanders has it. Just go smash open his house. [Homer closes the door as loud footsteps trail off] He came to life. Good for him. [smashing is heard as the screen shakes, and footsteps are heard hurriedly heading back to the Simpsons home. The doorbell rings, Homer answers and is greeted by the same angrier Lard Lad]
[running in the background] Help me Lord!
I told you, Flanders has it! Or Moe. Go kill Moe.
[Homer drives through an alley of Advertisements. Lardlad Donuts is Homer's Favorite]
Ah, the Miracle Mile, where value wears a neon sombrero and there's not a single Church or Library to offend the Eye. There it is! The chain that put the "fat" in "fat Southern Sheriffs".
