[the family is having lamb chops for dinner and Lisa has discovered she can't eat them]
What's the difference between this lamb and the one that kissed me?
This one spent two hours in the broiler.
“Lisa the Vegetarian” · Season 7
In this episode: Bart Simpson (5), Homer Simpson (4), Lisa Simpson (4), Marge Simpson (3), Mr. Burns (1), Waylon Smithers (1), Seymour Skinner (1), Groundskeeper Willie (1)
I'm trying to impress people here, Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.
[conga beat while Lisa folds her arms] You don't win friends with salad/You don't win friends with salad/
BHBart and Homer
[doing the conga] You don't win friends with salad/You don't win friends with salad/You don't win friends with salad/You don't win friends with salad/
[joins her husband and son] You don't win friends with salad/You don't win friends with salad/You don't win friends with salad...
Mom!
I don't mean to take sides. I just got caught up in the rhythm.
[Homer and Bart are chasing the runaway pig for the barbecue. It rolls through some bushes]
It's just a little dirty, it's still good, it's still good!
[the pig passes through traffic, hits a guardrail and falls into a canal with toxic waste drums in it]
It's just a little slimy, it's still good, it's still good!
[the pig gets caught in the dam spillway. Water floods behind it until the built-up pressure shoots it through the spillway and rocketing into the distance]
It's just a little airborne, it's still good, it's still good!
It's gone.
I know.
[in Mr. Burns' office]
You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage... when pigs fly!
[they both laugh. A moment later the pig sails past the window]
Will you be donating that million dollars now, sir?
No, I'd still prefer not.
[Lisa is using the riding lawnmower to push the barbecue pig out of the yard.]
Bart, no!
[standing next to her] What?
Sorry, force of habit. Lisa, no!
Marge, since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
[sighs] Please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Bart, tell Dad I'll only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup, homeboy?
Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Homer, you're not-not talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Uh, Dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Bart, go to your room!
Why don't you just eat him, Dad?
[turns red in anger and gets frustrated] I don't need any serving suggestions from you! You barbecue-wrecking, know-nothing know-it-all!
[enraged] THAT'S IT! I CAN'T LIVE IN A HOUSE WITH THIS PREHISTORIC CARNIVORE. I AM OUT OF HERE!
[Lisa furiously leaves the house and angrily slams the door]
THAT'S IT! GO TO YOUR ROOM!
[later in Storytown Village]
FBFather Bear
"Somebody's been sleeping in my bed."
MBMother Bear
"Somebody's been sleeping in my bed."[distorted due to technical problems]
BBBaby Bear
"Somebody's been sleeping in my bed."
AAbe
[gets up] Well, I'm sorry, but it was 150 degrees in the car!
[at Skinner's office]
Uh-oh. Two independent thought alarms in one day. The students are overstimulated. Willie, remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms.
I WARNED YA!! Didn't I warn ya!? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!!
[During "The Meat Council Presents: Meat and You: Partners in Freedom", Number 3F03 in the "Resistance is Useless" series.]
JJimmy
Mr. McClure, I have a crazy friend who says it's wrong to eat meat. Is he crazy?
[laughing] No, Jimmy, just ignorant. You see, your crazy friend never heard of the food chain. Just ask this scientitian.
SScientist
Uhhh...
He'll tell you that in nature one creature invariably eats another to survive. Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!
JJimmy
Wow, Mr. McClure, I was a Grade A Moron to ever question eating meat.
Ha Ha Ha Ha... Yes you were, Jimmy. Yes you were. [playfully rubs Jimmy's head]
JJimmy
You're hurting me...
[Lisa is about to dissect a worm in class]
WWorm
[in a bleating, lamb-like voice] Lisa! What did I ever do to you?
Why does it talk like a lamb?
Come on, I'll give you a piggyback ride-- Whoops, I mean a veggie-back ride home. Come on.
[Lisa climbs onto Homer's back, and he carries his daughter home]
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