You don't think there's anything wrong with what we're doing, do you?
I don't think anything I've ever done is wrong.
S9Natural Born Kissers
Now let's all thank the lord for this our new crystal church for us to behold all his wondrous creation.
[Homer's backside is sliding across the top of it the roof, making a huge noise]
Now hurry, let's all look down and admire God's new parquet floor. [Eyes closed looking down as Homer still passes by on the ceiling] Eyes on the floor, still on the floor, always on God's floor.
Wow! An alternate ending to Casablanca. Bart, this could be priceless!
Priceless like a mother's love, or the good kind of priceless?
When we got married, is this how you thought we'd be spending our Saturdays? Driving out to the boondocks to buy a refrigerator motor?
Naw, I never thought I'd live this long.
Yeah, I thought Bart would be born a dimwit! Hahaha!
Heh, heh, mmm...yeah.
Boy, I'll tell you, they only come out at night... or, in this case, the day.
Whatever happened to Grampa? He was supposed to baby-sit.
[Cut to Grampa in the Flanders's house watching Rod and Todd play checkers]
[to Rod] Now you got her, Bart. Jump Lisa's king.
I'm not Bart, I'm Rod Flanders.
There you go with that smart mouth! [to Todd] Lisa, run outside and cut me a switch.
Yes, sir!
[Homer and Marge have ended up naked in the middle of a football game in the Springfield Stadium]
[to the audience; annoyed] Why don't you take a picture?! It lasts longer! [everyone begins taking pictures] D'OH!
It would have to be camera day...
[Bart and Lisa are reading a newspaper featuring Homer and Marge ending up naked at the Springfield Stadium]
Wow...
[Marge takes the newspaper]
Hey!
I don't want you reading these awful scandal sheets.
Uh, I was just trying to find Dave Barry's column.
He's great! He pokes fun at life's little foibles.
S10Lard of the Dance
And the doctor told me that both my eyes were lazy, and that's why it was the best summer ever!
HMs. Hoover
Thank you, Ralph. Now take your seat. [Ralph exits the classroom]
[offscreen] Hey Blindy, have a nice trip!
Aah!
Ha-ha!
Used grease is worth money? Then my arteries are clogged with yellow gold! [he groans with pain] Money in the bank.
Marge, I'm a little busy right now achieving financial independence.
With cans of used grease?
[mockingly] No, through savings and wise investments! Of course with grease.
AAlex
Your name's Lisa? Shut up, I love that name!
Did she just tell me to "shut up?"
Take it outside.
[Bart and Homer are escaping from Groundskeeper Willie through the air ducts. Willie grabs Homer by the ankle.]
Not so fast, boyo. Hell, if it was up to me, I'd let ya go. [Raises his fists.] But, the lads have a temper, and they've been drinking all day!
[Willie starts punching Homer with hard blows while Homer is screaming in pain.]
Ow! Stop pummeling me! It's really painful!
[Willie stops briefly] Okay, fine. I'll strangle ya for a while! [Willie strangles Homer with his hose, and one of Homer's eyes bulges out of its socket.]
Lisa, I can't imagine anyone being more likable than you. But apparently this new girl is. So my advice would be to start copying her in every way.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.