Rod Flanders quotes from The Simpsons

We don't have to play football, do we, Daddy?

Ned Flanders

Oh, you betcha. Team sports will keep you away from temptations like rock music and girls.

Yay!

Marge

Whatever happened to Grampa? He was supposed to baby-sit.

Grampa

[to Rod] Now you got her, Bart. Jump Lisa's king.

Rod

I'm not Bart, I'm Rod Flanders.

Grampa

There you go with that smart mouth! [to Todd] Lisa, run outside and cut me a switch.

Todd

Yes, sir!

All right, you kids, come down now. We promise we won't kill ya.

Homer

Speak for yourself! Bart, get down here! I'm gonna spank you back to the Stone Age!

Bart

You can't make us come down!

You adults are always giving orders!

Skinner

Well, you kids are always disobeying them!

Well, adults treat kids like children!

Kirk

Kids treat adults like cash machines!

Adults!

Kids!

Adults!

Kids!

Adults!

Rev. Lovejoy

Kids! You've had your fun, now we've had our fill!

Homer

Yeah! You're only here because Marge forgot her pill!

Marge

[embarrassed] Hmm...

Kids! You're all just scandalizing, vandalizing punks! [catches Nelson spray-painting "Oink" on his backside]

Krusty

Channel-hopping, Ritalin-popping monkeys! [But please don't quit the fan-club!]

Marge

Kids! I can nag and nag till my hair turns blue!

Edna Krabappel

Kids! You bum my smokes and don't say thank you!

Why can't you be like we are? [they get hit with tomatoes]

Oh, what a bunch of brats!

We oughta drown you just like cats! [Snowball II jumps out of his sack]

Bart

Adults! You run our lives like you're Colonel Klink!

Adults! You strut around like your farts don't stink!

Lisa

Adults! You're such a drooling, snoring, boozing, boring bunch! Surly, meanie, three-martini lunchers!

I just ate a thumbtack!

Adults! They're always telling us to--

[grabs Milhouse with his cane] Shut your traps!

Jasper

Eh... we're all fed up with all of you whippersnaps! [Milhouse screams and runs]

We're trying to get some sleep here! It's almost 6:15! What's the matter with...

Don't you treat us like...

Can't you just lay off...

We're sick of all of you...

KIDS...TO...DAY!

We're gonna teach all you rugrats a lesson!

Homer

Oh yeah? Pfft! What can you old people do to us?

Krusty

Yeah, you old fogies!

Buzz off, you old buzzards!

You're wrinkly, somebody should iron you.

So, did you boys have a good time?

Rod

Yeah, Mr. Simpson was really funny.

Todd

He told us how the world keeps screwing him over.

Rod

Daddy, what are we gonna do today?

Ned Flanders

Well, we're gonna do what every kid your age likes to do: look at bread.

Todd

Daddy, was mommy a monkey? I can't remember.

Ned

[yelling] No one was ever a monkey! Everything is what it was and always will be! God put us here and that's that!

Todd

But you said a stork brought me.

Ned

Uh, that was God disguised as a stork.

Rod

Who brings baby storks?

Ned

There's no such thing as storks, it's all God!

Todd

[praying in front of a statue of a stork] Please bless daddy and mommy...

Ned

Stop praying to that stork!

Rod

We thought you were gonna die.

And then Uncle Kevin would have to raise us.

Rod

And his funny friend, David.

Ned

Oh I'd put rocks in your pocket and walk you out to sea for before I'd let that happen.

Yay!

Todd

We took the pledge.

Rod

We won't have sex until we're married.

Todd

To each other.

Homer

Hey, Flanders! Gas up your leaf blower much? [notices Flanders' hen house] Chickens?! Since when do you have chickens?

Ned

Oh, about six months.

Homer

Well, they've been driving me crazy. Get rid of them!

Ned

[chuckles] Don't let these feathery fellas ruffle your feathers, fella.

Homer

Chickens. You have yourself a perfectly good coop, and that's what you keep in it? [whistles]

Ned

Oh, Homer, surely you know there's nothing tastier than a fresh-laid egg! [to Rod and Todd] How do you want 'em, boys?

Coddled! Coddled! Coddled!

Ned

[chuckles] What is it about boys and their coddled eggs?

Todd

Order! Order!

Ned

Now, we can't leave Springfield unless it's unanimous. Todd?

Todd

I vote "yes." I can finally get away from that ladybug that scares me.

Rod

I am tired of Mr. Simpson peeing in our bird bath.

Ned

Well, that's one, two, three, and...

Edna

I have to stay here in Springfield, because boys like Bart Simpson need me. Sweet, misunderstood boys, who just need someone to recognise the basic goodness that's trapped inside them and is desperately trying to get out.