And the doctor told me that both my eyes were lazy, and that's why it was the best summer ever!
HMs. Hoover
Thank you, Ralph. Now take your seat. [Ralph exits the classroom]
[offscreen] Hey Blindy, have a nice trip!
Aah!
Ha-ha!
“Lard of the Dance” · Season 10
In this episode: Homer Simpson (7), Bart Simpson (2), Marge Simpson (2), Nelson Muntz (2), Lisa Simpson (1), Seymour Skinner (1), Ralph Wiggum (1), Groundskeeper Willie (1)
Used grease is worth money? Then my arteries are clogged with yellow gold! [he groans with pain] Money in the bank.
Marge, I'm a little busy right now achieving financial independence.
With cans of used grease?
[mockingly] No, through savings and wise investments! Of course with grease.
AAlex
Your name's Lisa? Shut up, I love that name!
Did she just tell me to "shut up?"
Take it outside.
[Bart and Homer are escaping from Groundskeeper Willie through the air ducts. Willie grabs Homer by the ankle.]
Not so fast, boyo. Hell, if it was up to me, I'd let ya go. [Raises his fists.] But, the lads have a temper, and they've been drinking all day!
[Willie starts punching Homer with hard blows while Homer is screaming in pain.]
Ow! Stop pummeling me! It's really painful!
[Willie stops briefly] Okay, fine. I'll strangle ya for a while! [Willie strangles Homer with his hose, and one of Homer's eyes bulges out of its socket.]
Lisa, I can't imagine anyone being more likable than you. But apparently this new girl is. So my advice would be to start copying her in every way.
Oh, I can't believe those goons muscled me out of my grease business. I've been muscled out of everything I've ever done, including my muscle for hire business.
Oh, poor Homey. Couldn't you try some other far-out, moneymaking scheme?
Alright son, we're about to embark on our most difficult mission. Let's bow our head in prayer. Dear Lord, I know You're busy, seeing as how You can watch women change clothes and all that, but if You help us steal this grease tonight I promise we'll donate half the profits to charity.
Dad, He's not stupid.
Alright, screw it. Let's roll! [floors it]
When you want grease, go to the source. Good old Krusty Burger!
I'll say! Look at that red-headed kid. There must be $40 worth of grease on his forehead alone.
Uh, I was thinking more of the deep frier.
Whatever, we'll try it your way.
Can I help you, sir?
[leaning uncomfortably close to Squeaky-Voiced Teen] My... God, you're greasy.
Mr. Maruka, help!
[Nelson, Ralph, Wendel, Lewis, and Database sitting at a bench at lunchtime]
You see, the thing about huckleberries is: once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned.
[Skinner walks up to the bench]
Uh, uh, so anyway, I kicked the guy's ass!
[Skinner nods and walks off]
[quietly] Now, if the berries are too tart, I just dust them with confectioner sugar.
[All murmur in interest]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.