Hey, Dad, look! You're on Jumbo Vision!
WOW! [stands, waving to crowds] Hey, everybody! [Bart does 2 fingers behind Homer's head] How ya doin'? [blocks Bart's face] Look at me! I'm Homer Simpson! [laughs]
[Jumbo Vision lowers down to Homer's pants, audience laughs hysterically at Homer's unzipped zipper]
Examine my zipper? Why? [looks down] Whoops! [turns quickly, zips pants up, Lisa covers her eyes in embarrassment, Homer laughs, waving arm at screen] Thanks, everybody!
[Crowd applauds]
You've been rubbing it in my nose since I got here! Your family is better than my family, your beer comes from farther away than my beer, you and your son like each other, your wife's butt... [Ned gasps] is higher than my wife's butt! You make me sick!
Simpson, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I hope you understand.
I wouldn't stay on a bet! [walks out but gets back to pick up a club sandwich that Maude prepared] One for the road! [eats on the way out]
[begins writing a letter] "Dear neighbor..."
[Later, Ned walks up to the Simpsons house, and was about to slide the envelope under the front door]
[from behind] FLANDERS!!!
[startled] Gah! Oh, hey. Sorry, Homer. I just wanted to give you this letter. I'll leave now.
[opens the letter Ned handed him and starts reading it] "Dear neighbor..." [starts snickering. Cut to the next morning. he, Bart, Lisa, and Marge are seated around the breakfast table in the kitchen, and he's is reading Ned's letter out loud] "You are my brother." [laughs, Bart and Lisa snicker] "I love you." [he, Bart, and Lisa all laugh out loud, while Marge frowns disapprovingly] "And yet, I feel a great sadness..." [snickers] "...in my bosom." [he, Bart, and Lisa laugh even harder] "Bosom..." Wait, wait, there's more! [continues laughing]
[stands up] I think that's terrible! A man opens his heart, and you make fun of him! [exits the room and quietly snickers to herself, then walks back in just as Homer continues reading the letter]
"Neighbors forever," Oh no! [he and Bart laugh] "Ned Flanders." [he, Bart, and Lisa laugh]
[slapping the table] What a sap!
[wiping away a tear] Read the bosom part again, dad![Homer, Bart, and Lisa laugh]
"Bosom." [he, Homer, and Lisa laugh]
[Homer tries to watch a football game when he sees Bart smothering Lisa with a sofa cushion]
[angrily turns red] Bart! Stop fighting with your sister!
Hey, man! She took my glue!
It's not yours, Bart! [throws pillow and Bart off herself] This is family glue!
Stop it, you two! This is Thanksgiving, so glue friendly or I'll take your glue away and then nobody will have any glue to glue with!
Dad, this isn't about glue. It's about territoriality. He only wants the glue because I'm using it.
Hey, man, I don't want your stupid glue. [throws bottle of glue away next to Maggie's bottle, both bottles look alike]
[Maggie is about to suck the glue bottle, Lisa quickly walks away with glue]
[After Bart deliberately burns her centerpiece, Lisa runs upstairs to her room, crying]
[sets Bart down; very stern and serious] Alright, Bart, that's it! Go to your room, now!
Okay, I'll take some white meat and stuffing to go, and send up the pumpkin pie in about 20 minutes.
[losing patience] I said NOW!
[angrily confronts Bart] Yes, you do! I hope you're happy, Bart! You've RUINED Thanksgiving!
[After comforting Lisa, Marge goes to Bart's room]
[sternly] Bart, you can to come down to dinner as soon as you're ready to apologize to your sister, and it's going to be a real apology in front of everybody, and you have to mean it.
[kicking his toy car he was playing with] Apologize?! For what?! Clearing the table?! Having a sense of humor?! They think they can starve an apology out of me? Ha! [furiously climbs out of the window, angrily jumps down from a tree and lividly lands on some daisies] Uh-oh. I mean...good! [violently jumps up and down on the daisies in anger]
Bart, why did you burn my centerpiece?
Is it because you hate me or is it because you're bad?
I don't know! I don't know why I did it; I don't know why I enjoyed it; and I don't know why I'll do it again!
Just tell me you're sorry!
Bart, the only reason to apologize is if you look deep down inside yourself and you find a spot, something you wish wasn't there, because you feel bad you hurt your sister's feelings.
Okay, okay. [closes his eyes] Mmmhhuummmhmmmm. Lookin' for the spot. Nananana, still checking. This is so stupid, I'm not gonna find anything. Just 'cause I wrecked something she worked really hard on and I made her cr- [He suddenly opens his eyes in realization] Uh-oh. [puts hand on Lisa's shoulder] I'm sorry, Lisa.
Apology accepted. [kisses his cheek]
[Camera pans down at Homer who's in the bathroom listening]
You know, Marge, we're great parents. [cut to the kitchen. Simpson family is in pajamas sitting down to a late-night dinner of leftovers. Clock reads 11:35 PM] Dear Lord, we thank You for giving this family one last crack at togetherness.
[Simpsons eat leftovers]
[Bart and Milhouse are at the Simpson house watching TV]
Correction: was your seat.
[Cut to Moe's Tavern]
But I only got up to go to the can!
Hey, I don't see your name engraved on this bar stool.
[about Springfield Gorge] Hey, this thing's pretty gnarly. I bet you could throw a dead body in there, and no one would ever find it.
Otto, I'm going to leap over Springfield Gorge on my skateboard.
You know, Bart, as the only adult here, I feel I should say something.
[sees Itchy and Scratchy on TV and Maggie is imitating Itchy's moves using a pencil] So television is responsible. [turns off the TV]
Hey, we were watching that!
Mom, what are you doing?!
Well, you won't be watching these cartoons anymore. Ever!
But Mom! If you take away our cartoons, we'll grow up without a sense of humor and be robots.
Really? What kind of robots?
