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The Simpsons · Season 2

“Bart vs. Thanksgiving” quotes from The Simpsons

4 quotes

“Bart vs. Thanksgiving” · Season 2

In this episode: Bart Simpson (4), Homer Simpson (3), Marge Simpson (2), Lisa Simpson (2), Simpson Family (1)

[Homer tries to watch a football game when he sees Bart smothering Lisa with a sofa cushion]

[angrily turns red] Bart! Stop fighting with your sister!

Hey, man! She took my glue!

It's not yours, Bart! [throws pillow and Bart off herself] This is family glue!

Stop it, you two! This is Thanksgiving, so glue friendly or I'll take your glue away and then nobody will have any glue to glue with!

Dad, this isn't about glue. It's about territoriality. He only wants the glue because I'm using it.

Oh, yeah? Prove it.

[hands Bart glue] Here.

Hey, man, I don't want your stupid glue. [throws bottle of glue away next to Maggie's bottle, both bottles look alike]

[Maggie is about to suck the glue bottle, Lisa quickly walks away with glue]

[After Bart deliberately burns her centerpiece, Lisa runs upstairs to her room, crying]

[sets Bart down; very stern and serious] Alright, Bart, that's it! Go to your room, now!

Okay, I'll take some white meat and stuffing to go, and send up the pumpkin pie in about 20 minutes.

[losing patience] I said NOW!

Mom, do I have to?

[angrily confronts Bart] Yes, you do! I hope you're happy, Bart! You've RUINED Thanksgiving!

[After comforting Lisa, Marge goes to Bart's room]

[sternly] Bart, you can to come down to dinner as soon as you're ready to apologize to your sister, and it's going to be a real apology in front of everybody, and you have to mean it.

[kicking his toy car he was playing with] Apologize?! For what?! Clearing the table?! Having a sense of humor?! They think they can starve an apology out of me? Ha! [furiously climbs out of the window, angrily jumps down from a tree and lividly lands on some daisies] Uh-oh. I mean...good! [violently jumps up and down on the daisies in anger]

Bart, why did you burn my centerpiece?

Oh, come on.

Is it because you hate me or is it because you're bad?

I don't know! I don't know why I did it; I don't know why I enjoyed it; and I don't know why I'll do it again!

Just tell me you're sorry!

Why should I?!

Bart, the only reason to apologize is if you look deep down inside yourself and you find a spot, something you wish wasn't there, because you feel bad you hurt your sister's feelings.

Leave me alone.

Just look!

Okay, okay. [closes his eyes] Mmmhhuummmhmmmm. Lookin' for the spot. Nananana, still checking. This is so stupid, I'm not gonna find anything. Just 'cause I wrecked something she worked really hard on and I made her cr- [He suddenly opens his eyes in realization] Uh-oh. [puts hand on Lisa's shoulder] I'm sorry, Lisa.

Apology accepted. [kisses his cheek]

[Camera pans down at Homer who's in the bathroom listening]

You know, Marge, we're great parents. [cut to the kitchen. Simpson family is in pajamas sitting down to a late-night dinner of leftovers. Clock reads 11:35 PM] Dear Lord, we thank You for giving this family one last crack at togetherness.

[in unison] Amen.

[Simpsons eat leftovers]

These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.