I'm gonna miss Ted, he was a good supervisor.
Definitely hands off. He didn't mind if we punched in late, or not at all.
And he didn't mind that we made a few changes to the soda machine... mmm... beer.
S21The Devil Wears Nada
S21Pranks and Greens
Marge, what are you doing?
This junk food has got to go. It's full of chemicals, trans fats, and hard pore corn.
S21Rednecks and Broomsticks
Oh, for cryin' out...! I hate traffic - the band and the phenomenon!
[On the kid's 'Bonk It' toy]
Hey kids, it's daddy's turn. Stomp it! Crush it! Kill it!
Ohhh, why do my actions have consequences?!
BBrandy
Drink up,sweetie. Let the possum work its magic.
Possum?!
BBrandy
Oh, don't worry. We don't kill it. We just dip it.
MMoe
Oh, it's no good, you're just a load of spineless weasels!
[The townspeople turn round and come to a halt]
Kill the weasel hater!
[Everyone runs after Moe]
MMoe
[laughing as he runs] See, that's what I'm talking about!
Brandy?! Where's the bazook?![Looks at his son, holding the bazooka.] Aw, he's gonna shoot them Google Earth folks that caught me with my britches down.
Oh for God's-! You know, one hillbilly has his way with one fat guy in Deliverance, and suddenly people think that's all hillbillies do!
From now on, The only "witch" in lisa's life Is which boy will marry her.
S21O Brother, Where Bart Thou?
[Homer is extolling the virtues of girls over boys.]
Girls are easy! Girls love daddy, girls give birthday cards with glitter and sprinkles, and I don't have to tell them how their bodies work 'cause I don't know!
You never told me how my body works.
Point and shoot.
Are you sure this will work?
Hey, this is the DVD my parents used to make me.
So it kind of works.
S21Thursdays with Abie
You're in the newspaper business? [chuckles] Something that's gonna die before I do!
[narrating] It was back in World War II. I was a Seaman First Class on the USS World War I. We were minding our own business, when we were attacked by a heat-seeking torpedo we had fired the day before.
[In flashback, the missile causes the ship to sink, leaving the young Abe and the rest of the crew surrounded by sharks in the water]
CCaptain
Don't worry about the sharks, boys. Just play possum and they'll leave you alone.
[He floats on his back, playing dead - and is immediately eaten]
[narrating] Unfortunately, sharks love possum!
Yep, I may just be the best known Abraham in history.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.