MMarshall
So many hat boxes!
S21Thursdays with Abie
[Bart lets Santa's Little Helper chew Larry the stuffed toy lamb]
That's it, boy! Go for the 'nards!
Bart! [snatches Larry away] If you're not gonna take care of him right, then give him to me.
How come you don't get mad when I torment real animals?
I do! It enrages me!
I thought you Hindus were supposed to love everybody.
I'M A FREAKIN' BUDDHIST! A BUDDHIST! [kicks the side table]
[during the versions of reruns and DVDs]
The year is 1946, and in a war torn world, a single flower blooms and that flower is an angry Japanese monster named Godzilla. Fortunately, there was one man that could help, Colonel Tom Parker. The colonel took this monster, cleaned him up and put him on stage under the name the Rolling Stones. The first concert was a sell out with many, many, many people eaten. But those that survived raved about the undeniable harmonies and brutally honest lyrics of what they had just seen. And out of the wreckage of that concert crawled the woman that would later give birth to me, not once but four times, cause in those days if they didn't like the way you looked they would send you back in to bake a little longer. After four times they just decided to cut off my tail, but you can still see it in the British museum, which interestingly enough, is in France. Not the France you're thinking of, but a much better one, built with palm trees and leprechauns, but I digress. In fact, I used to be a professional digressor, but I don't wanna get off the track, so I'll tell you about the time I was a professional digressor. The year was 2021, and I had just returned from a brief vacation where I had eaten more than my fill of tacos. Not the tacos you're thinking of. Did I ever tell you about the time I started Gracie Films? [the Gracie Films logo shows up] Hey, shush yourself!
S21Once Upon a Time in Springfield
First girls ruin Sex in the City, and now this!
We have to cut costs.
But we have way more expensive unnecessaries than doughnuts.
Yeah, like the ceiling furniture.
And all the joke ID badges we ordered.
No doughnuts!
No!
D'oh!
Nuts!
Exactly!
Poor Krusty. He's become the lowest form of life: a sidekick.
You said it, Bart! Way to sum up the situation!
Take it easy, little buddy.
That's exactly how I'll take it!
S21Million Dollar Maybe
And now Valerie and Dave will deliver their own vows, because my vows, apparently, weren't good enough. Show me how it's done, Dave.
S21Boy Meets Curl
Homer, you don't look fat.
Oh, Carl. You're a liar, but I love it.
I'm not a dude, I'm a hottie.
This bromance just got interesting.
What is this, tough love?
It's a little more like "soft hate".
Ooh, you're hot when you're horny.
I'm not horny. I'm mad.
Ooh, you're mad when you're angry.
S21The Color Yellow
The Simpson family is a long line of horse thieves, deadbeats, horse beats, dead thieves, and even a few alcoholics.
EEliza
Follow me north to freedom.
VVirgil
I don't think so.
EEliza
Why? Because I'm young and I'm a woman?
VVirgil
No. Because you're pointing south.
Our family has heroes!
S21Postcards from the Wedge
Credit card offer, overdue bill, credit card offer, overdue bill. Huh? What's this? [opens a envelope] What the--?! [angry] You're a month behind on homework?!
I tried really hard to stop you from finding out. Does that help?
[still angry] A LITTLE!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.