The Venture Bros. quotes

Brock

Stay back! Another one of those mummies got stuck in our landing gear.

Who dares to desecrate the sacred tomb of- oof!

Ow! Hey, hey! Wait a minute. (Brock breaks the mummys arm.) There's no reason to - aarghhh! (Brock delivers a karate chop to the throat.) Oof! Ow, oh, hey!

Hank

Holy toledo, he ripped on him!

Dean

Way to give him a little chin music Brock!

Well that ought to take care of tha-

Dean

Look, Brock still ain't done with him!

Hank

That's showing him who's boss, Brock-O!

Was that really necessary?

Brock

You have to defile a mummy completely or they'll come back to life. You know that.

Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to turn in your weapon.

It's all right, soldier. Mr. Samson is my bodyguard.

Just the same, doctor. I'm going to have to confiscate it from you.

Brock

(growls furiously) Go ahead. (gives a horrible grin) Take it from me.

Your check, Dr. Venture. Muchas gracias.

Super good! Very generous of y-oh, pesos. Great. These zeros are all meaningless.

I am sorry, Señor Venture.

Doctor.

Sí?

No, "Doctor Venture". What's Mexican for "doctor"?

Doctor.

I realize I am a Tijuana doctor, but even we have scruples. I could lose my license to practice...Mexican medicine.

Dean

We knew you wouldn't let us down.

Hank

And just in the nick of time, too. Monarch was gettin' all 'creepy uncle' on us.

Hank

(trying to pick a lock) Double dammit!

Dean

Hank, you said the double-D word!

(after being attacked by a frightening green creature) What the hell was that?

Brock

Chupacabra. They're all over Mexico.

Brock

How long can you live if you're not hooked up to him?

Oh, I dunno...a couple of hours? But they'd be awfully uncomf-- (Brock yanks out the tubes connecting Doc to H.E.L.P.eR.) GAH!

Hank

This place is tits!

Hank

Well, sure. H.E.L.P.eR. looks like a dried-out turd on a bad stretch of road.

Hank

What's your problem with our dad, anyway?!

(awkwardly) Well, I- he- he's my nemesis. My archenemy.

Dean

I don't think Pop thinks you're his archenemy.

Come on, I'm sure the walls of the Venture Compound are practically caked with the lingering curses of the Monarch's name.

Dean

Uhh, no. I've never even heard him mention you.

Hank

Yeah, I always thought Baron Ünderbheit was dad's arch-enemy.

(astounded) Ünderbheit!?! Why, that dime-store Doctor Doom isn't fit to...just you wait 'til your father calls me back!

Brock

You get the boys. I'll take care of these guys.

Are you sure? There's an awful lot of them.

Brock

(left eye twitching) They hit me with a truck.

But see, that's what I'm talking about! Now Venture'll send Samson after the rest of us, and he'll go totally sickhouse on our asses. I LIKE my ass, gentlemen.

[After waking up in a tub of ice with a note explaining that his kidneys are gone] Oh! Not again! Wait a minute...one... [Checks his other side] Two... oh...this is serious.