Dr. Mrs. The Monarch quotes from The Venture Bros.

How'dwe do, mum?

Great! My little moppets were perfect like always! Come give your lady a hug.

(leering at her breasts) I like yer new costume, mum...

(also leering) I like huggin you in your new costume....

Ok you two. Time to stop...

What the fuck is that thing?

Ummm, I think it's a giant robot with a ice cream cone for one of its arms. I think.

I gotta ask this, is there a reason why you are always using 21 and 24?

I know it sounds crazy, but they both have the rare blend of expendable and invulnerable that makes them the perfect henchmen.

[Laughs evilly] Time to pay the piper, Venture. Or in minutes my meca-pillar silky issue will destroy the only living proof you've actually had sex. That is, unless you give me $10 million!

What?! Since when do you arch for money?

Yeah, what are you doing?

Honey, how long have we been trying to kill this schmuck, 10, 20 years?

I don’t know, since Marky Mark had a Funky Bunch!

And it never works. You wanna know how to really hurt Venture?

Not really, but as a wife I try to be supportive, so.

We strike him in the pocket book. Ha-ha.

Yeah, speaking of which, how much did those meca-pillars set us back?

I dunno, a couple of mil. Anyway, it’s $10 million Venture. Tick-tock tick-tock.

Look I don’t have that type of cash lying around.

Dean

Daddy! [Meca-pillar gags him]

All right, you can have anything in my lab. Anything you see here, take your pick. Anything except for the positronic accelerator...

I don’t want any of your old crap. This isn't "Antiques Roadshow," dick. Its your money or their lives!

Hank

Yeah, quit being such a skin-flint and pay the piper-man.

Now don’t take sides with your arch-enemy!

Hank

Shut up, you're not the dad of me.

Hank! Don’t you sass your bodyguard.

Hank

He’s not my bodyguard.

Will you accept half for just Dean? You can keep Hank.

Your father doesn’t mean that Hank.

Oh don’t I? Do you know what Mr. Smart-Mouth called me as he stormed out this morning? A "honky!"

[Chuckle] Did you really?

Hank

Yeah.

I’m transmitting you the instruction for the drop-off now, I suggest you follow them. Or your boys will follow the rainbow bridge to Valhalla. [Laughs] That is not as dark as its sounds in my head, is it?

Oh come on. Do I really have to get blood on my tux?

Service abandonment. Guild non-assail pact of 1958, paragraph 20, line 17 regarding employer's rights to a deserter

Yeah, here’s all the paperwork. Now step aside.

I don’t care if you have a note from Santa Claus, you are not getting in.

Ah-ah-ah! I have a little bargaining chip.

Princess Tinyfeet! You untie her this instant.

Ahh, we didn’t tie her up.

She’s way, way into the bondage thing. You want her back, you better start respecting her very strange needs.

My little beige bunny, is this true?

She insisted we drive her here in the trunk. She is a freak.

I'm sick of this! I'm slightly drunk, I'm talking to the ghost of my fucking dead friend, I'm probably in love with you, so...yeah, whatever! I'm over it!

You're "over it"?

You're in love with me?

Whoa, wait. What?

Yeah, we made out.

Well, that's a stretch. We got drunk, and maybe we kissed...

Sure...where was I then?

Where were you? You were there! We were on top of you! [The music stops] We made out on you!

Fight! There's a fight!

So you had a drunken threesome! Join the fucking club! We're villains, you crybaby! We swing! I watched my wife suck Manta Claus dry and then make him breakfast!

Is that true?

Eggs and buttered toast.

Wh...you guys are nuts! Yeah, great! [Flipping off everybody as he leaves] Fuck you! Fuck this completely crappy fucking excuse for a fucking prom!