Doctor Venture quotes from The Venture Bros.

Doctor Venture

Oh, no, they called my brother? Could this be any more embarrassing? (mockingly to Dr. Venture, Jr. through the forcefield) Yeah, all right, hi! I see you! Go to hell!

(resentfully) Your panda broke my glasses.

We'll replace them at once. We have many glasses here. We have everything you need.

Where the hell is "here"?

Your home for the time being. (dramatically) Welcome, Dr. Venture...to the Brisby-dome!

This is that ridiculous giant beehive next door to your study, isn't it? You knocked me out and put me in a bag to bring me fifty yards?!?

Brock

Huh. So he really did die.

So what, he programmed his robots to hate us too?

Brock

(shrugs) I guess.

Well, that makes about as much sense as anything else today. So what do you say we get out of here before he starts to stink?

(waking up from a bizarre dream) Oh, I thought I was done with those crappy dreams.

That was a weird one.

Great, you can read my mind.

IGNORE ME! (pause) Yes, I can.

Brock

Don't take all of it.

Doctor Venture

Or else what? I'll accidentally overdose on poison?

Hank

I have a sister? Named Dawn?? How long have you been keeping this from me?

Brock

Hank, no. I-I think...

Hank

Don't defend him, Brock! You knew about this, didn't you? Does Dean? What else haven't you told us??

Brock, you speak crazy, do something about him.

Brock

Hank, Baron Ünderbheit...

Hank

Good gravy! You're right, Brock! This is just what he wants. For us to turn on each other. And I played right into their hands. Dammit!

Doctor Venture

They might as well give a medal to the seats while they're pinning one on "Luck Rogers" over there.

Brock

(with disbelief) "Luck Rogers"?

Doctor Venture

(chuckles) You like that? I almost said "Flash in the pan Gordon".

Brock

Glad you didn't.

Doctor Venture

Friend of yours?

Brock

We were in 'Nam together.

Doctor Venture

Oh. Wait, you were like 10 during Vietnam.

Brock

Well, I didn't say during the war.

Doctor Venture

Hey, Bud! Or is it Budley? Budward? What's Bud short for?

Nothing. It's just Bud.

Doctor Venture

Oh, come on, Brock! This might be five minutes! I've been practicing my pitch all week!

Brock

(scoffs) You just have no clue, do you? These aren't a bunch of fake pirates or dicks in rubber butterfly suits, Doc. We're talking about the United States Secret Service.

Doctor Venture

Please, we'll both be off the hook when he feasts his eyes on what I've got to offer. The thing sells itself! If it doesn't I can't afford to pay you this month.

Brock

You don't pay me.

Doctor Venture

I wouldn't do that. They're nuclear batteries.

President Breyer

Nuke-a-lar?

Doctor Venture

Well, that's not actually a word, but yes.

Doctor Venture

(seeing replay of crashing Gargantua-1) I knew it! Told you this clown was no hero. He just blacked out in the middle of a hand job.

Uh oh.... Someone's playing with his Lincoln Log!

MY GOD IT'S FULL OF STARS!! (passes out)

Penny for his thoughts.

Dean

(to the Ghost of Abraham Lincoln) You're still here. Shouldn't you have crossed over?

Apparently stopping my bodyguard from beating up a repressed masturbator just isn't enough to get you into Heaven these days. Go figure.

You're one to judge, Rusty... I seem to remember a certain fast-handed little red-head, sleeping in the Lincoln bedroom, score and a half years back?

All right...

(sing-song) Not that you did much sleeping.

(covers ears) Okay!

Doctor Venture

So...it's a cocoon...that flies...

Obviously!

Doctor Venture

I just realized that makes no sense.

Duh! Monarch! Butterfly, butterfly cocoon, it's a theme thing!

Doctor Venture

Yeah, I get it, but why didn't you just make it shaped like a butterfly?

(The Monarch leans over and looks at Doctor Venture) Because that's gay?

What's going on? I've got no go here!

Um, here's something. We just lost power...like, uh, all of it.

Where'd it go?

Oh, oh, I don't know...uh, somewhere? Uh...it's not in the engine.

What?!? Someone get down to engine room and find out what the hell happened!

Oh no, no way...that place is spooky.

Doctor Venture

You...pay these people?

(quietly) Uhhhh, you wanna...see my escape cocoon?