I've been listening to this stupid learning bed my whole life, and you know what? I haven't learned shit! I could tell you how many taste buds are on the human tongue, but I've never even French-kissed a girl!
S5What Color is Your Cleansuit?
(Doctor Venture addresses his new interns)
You have been chosen because you are the best students in the physics department at your university. You are the best of the best.
OIOffscreen Intern
I'm majoring in sports medicine!
Okay...you've been chosen because I accepted every application.
S5S.P.H.I.N.X Rising
(Gary - formerly Henchmen #21 - accidentally breaks up an O.S.I undercover operation.)
GGary
Okay...I wasn't prepared for this, but...freeze! This is SPHINX!
(from under his costume) Gary!? What are you doing, you idiot?
(removing his mask) I swear I'm going to reach down your throat, rip out your heart and eat it!
GGary
Shore Leave? You're part of Long Division?
Yeah, that's it. Brilliant conclusion...
We're undercover, moron. We were undercover...
We've been wearing these smelly-ass sweat-soaked masks for a week for nothing.
Nice move, Chubs. The kid's dead. So's Tom.
You killed an eight-year-old boy with the corpse of the only person who knew where Long Division's secret base was. Argh! That's so raven!
Gary, you better shoot me or somethin', 'cause I'm about to kill you.
GGary
I was being a good guy! And you left me S.P.H.I.N.X! What did you expect me to do?
Honestly, use the hot tub a couple of times. Not run around like a lone wolf fighting crime. That WE are already fighting!
(taking a crossbow away from Gary) This my crossbow?
GGary
Aw, c'mon! It makes me feel like a wookie.
No. This is my crossbow.
(Sgt. Hatred sits in the bushes with a rifle. The Monarch's cocoon is in his sights when Gary approaches.)
Well, look who's coming to save me! It's the entire S.P.H.I.N.X. organization!
GGary
Hey, I'm recruiting now, Grandpa. So bite me.
Whip the little guy out. I'll go get Doc's microscope.
GGary
I have got a Shai-Hulud down there! There's a damn Paul-Muad'Dib riding this worm, my friend.
(Sgt Hatred and Gary have disabled The Monarch's flying cocoon.)
GGary
Okay, now he's in a panic. He's gonna have to do something, or he'll look like a total douche. So here's where he makes the incredibly stupid decision to...
(Cut to the Monarch...)
JETTISON THE LUNCH ROOM!
(The cocoon opens, dropping the contents of the lunch room on the Venture's lawn.)
What is that? Patio furniture?
GGary
That is the lunch room.
There's some metal casings out there. Could be explosives...
GGary
Chafing dishes. It's Wednesday, right?
Yeah.
GGary
Then they're filled with buffalo wings. And we should totally collect the ones without dirt and lawn chunks on them, 'cause they are awesome! They're really tangy!
S5Spanakopita!
(Doctor Venture talks about the Spanakopita festival...)
Spanakopita!
The Greek spinach pastry?
The Greek festival. Three days of fun in the sun on the most secluded island in Greece - Spanakos! I first discovered it's sultry pleasures as a young boy. You might say I had my first solo adventure there!
Ew! Is that a euphemism?
Get your mind out of the gutter, White.
(Billy Quizboy is excited to join the Ventures on their trip to Greece. White, however, is reluctant.)
"Fun in the sun?" "Sparkling seas?" Do I have to spell it out for you people? I am an albino! This isn't a fashion choice! My body literally hates the sun. On, like, a molecular level!
Hey... he's got a Bubo!
ASAugustus Saint Cloud
(smugly) THE Bubo. Harryhausen is a friend..."
(Dr. Venture drinks, dances and laughs heartily as Billy Quizboy and Pete White look on.)
You know, I've known Rusty for like twenty years, and I've never seen him like this.
What, happy? I know! It's kinda creepy...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Venture Bros. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.