TV show quotes
It's all my fault. I should never have listened to those KISS albums when I was pregnant.
[to Marge] Marge, with all due respect, that's ridiculous. My Sarah listened to Mozart and Churchill speeches when she was pregnant with Ralphie, and he can't even open a refrigerator.
Did you hair burn off in a fire that trapped you in a candy factory?
D’oh
I feel kind of melancholy.
Hmm...melon-collie.
That sounds salty, but you seem sweet. I'm going to call you kettle corn.
You want me to carve it into a thank-o-lantern?
No, this is good.
Well, this knave's got to carve something.
Read 'em and weep. The novels of Charlotte Brontë.
I thought we were playing cards.
You like lies? Here's a few: College is expensive, but it's worth it.
I'm sorry, Homer, Jr. You'll occupy an idealized place in my heart that no one can ever quite fill.
Therapy, please.
Me too.
I'm a Schwarzenegger wife!
But you're also the housekeeper. So it's all good.
[After imagining telling Marge about Homer Jr.] This simulation has been brought to you by your brain, a subsidiary of your penis.
Alright, '80s party! Where's the beef? Tear down that wall because I think the beef is behind that wall.
I must say, Lisa, it was amusing to see you thoroughly de-high-horsed.
That isn't a word.
Oooh, back on the saddle she climbs.
It's called precipitation because it never fails to precipitate bad behavior.
Excellent! [tents fingers] What am I doing? Untent! Untent!
You're like egg salad at a picnic, Simpson. Even when you look good, we know you're going bad.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
