I thought teachers only went outside to smoke and cry.
S23Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts
Same garbage, different dumpster.
We have shirts from other high schools.
Ooh, we can wear those to the nice malls.
[After seeing Bart locking a door.] Bart, what are you doing?
Taking over the school. With all the kids inside.
What?! I'm telling mom!
Great, you can call her from the closet phone. [Locks Lisa in the closet.]
[offscreen] Hello, mom? You won't believe what Bart's doing.
There really is a phone in there? [Bart opens the closet door, revealing that Lisa was faking. Lisa sticks her tongue at Bart. Bart locks the closet again.] So immature.
[The kids threaten to destroy a photocopier if Willie breaks the door down.]
Willie, stay your tractor.
Ya can't just turn 'er on and off like that! [Skinner turns the key which turns off the tractor.] Oh, ah guess ya can.
Yar, just plastic. Which is healthier than what you find in the ocean.
Don't buy it. I bought one last year and it was crap construction!
Marge, my ice cream's melting and I haven't finished my brownie!
S23Treehouse of Horror XXII
[to Mrs. Muntz who accosts him] Spend less time on your back and more time on your knees.
Traitor! How dare you betray the planet I got laid on?
There they are! Lets fry these calamari and serve them in a dipping sauce made from their own blood!
But why?!
Well, it's not so bad.
Well, it's a little.
For further communication, I will require more beans.
Halloween - the one time of the year where the squalor of our home works to our advantage.
I'm on the floor. I can't move. So far, a normal Sunday morning...
I take your sugary sweets and give you healthy items...
This is exactly why kids need a union.
HAHomer as God
Slay Montgomery Burns and pee in his ashes!
Are you sure, Lord?
HAHomer as God
If you're having trouble with the second part, drink a lot of water. Now I gotta go, a hip hop star is thanking me at the VMAs.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.