I just have one question about hair: where does mine start? Head, head, head, hair! Where's the border?!
Oh, my God! Me too!
What are we?!
S22The Blue and the Gray
[Moe is alone on Valentine's day]
TTV
Coming up next on world of war. Hitler and Eva Braun: crazy in love.
MMoe
Even you let me down Hitler.
Aww, Homie, you always mean to say the nicest things.
MMoe
Excuse me, is this the seminar where you learn to pick up free escorts.
Well, we're not learning how to fold cloth napkins.
Well, I got excited for nothing.
Take that back! [pushes Milhouse]
I find your decision to go back to blue empowering.
I thought you found my decision to go from blue to gray empowering.
As a feminist virtually everything a woman does is empowering.
Grandma had hair like that when she went to sleep in her forever-box.
Have you noticed how pizzas have gotten so small.
WWoman
I know, they are like dimes.
So it's true, your hair committed blue-icide.
Uh-oh, usually when it gets this quiet, Mr. Burns is standing behind me.
Actually, I'm standing in front of you.
S22Angry Dad: The Movie
That's Angry Dad, the semi-autobiographical web cartoon I created.
I legally forced him to say "semi".
[Homer causes the animators' cubicles to collapse by kicking one over]
Hey Homer, how would you like to be the voice of Angry Dad?
It would be an HONOR!!!
HMHerman Melwood
Don't thank me, thank Hollywood for being completely out of good ideas.
[to Bart] My little Roman Polanski.
Homer!
What? What's wrong with being Roman Polanski?
[whispers in Homer's ear]
He what?! [angrily turns red] YOU MONSTER!! [starts strangling Bart]
S22The Scorpion's Tale
Now, remember to stay hydrated, and... [rattling noise is heard] AAH! Rattle snake! [it's shown that it's just Bart with a rattle; he laughs]
Hah! You fall for that every year, Seymour.
In one year I didn't, and I was bitten by an actual rattle snake.
Yes, and if I recall, you took a sick day you did not have.
But I was gonna lose my foot!
Of which you have two.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.