CFCamp Flab-away instructor
So, you thought you could make a break for it, did you? Well, no one ever escapes from fat camp. 'Cause the only way out is up a gentle slope.
S15 E20The Way We Weren't
Marge, I'm really sorry I hurt you, but I've done way worse stuff since then. There was the gun I hid from you, the time I sued the church, ruining Lisa's wedding in the future, remember that?
[going through his "Memory Box"] Whoo, a letter from my old pen pal! Someday I'll write you back, Osama.
S15 E21Bart-Mangled Banner
I know what you're hiding, lad. Willie's been deaf since the boiler explosion of 88. But I've taught myself to read lips.
GGuy
Morning, Willie!
What did you say about my mother!? For your information her feet stank cause she works in manure all day, but it's still the best damn Starbucks in Glasgow.
[Bart accidentally moons the U.S. flag]
How dare he?! That's the flag my grandpappy rebelled against!
[Principal Skinner summons Homer and Marge into his office after Bart, accidentally, moons the U.S. flag]
Your child's behavior appalls me, not just as a principal, but as a veteran of America's only losing war!
To date.
I swear, Bart didn't know what he was doing. He was deaf!
Oh sure Marge, [shows Homer and Marge a file of photos] just like Blind Bart, Wheelchair Bart, Pregnant Bart, and my personal favorite, Railroad spike through head Bart.
Yeah, kids love trains.
[As the Simpsons swim away from Alcatraz] Swim for San Francisco!
We're not made of money! We'll swim for Oakland!
FSFrench Sailor
[to the Simpsons] Mes amis, we hate American too! Come to France, and we shall mock the country that saved us twice from the Germans!
S15 E22Fraudcast News
In tonight's face-off, I'll be debating Channel Six movie ghoulie Boobarella on the subject of our new boss C. Montgomery Burns. My view, he's a great leader and a gallant American.
BBoobarella
He's got a heart as big as my boobs!
I guess we'll have to agree to agree on this one.
BBoobarella
Booobs!
This is an outrage. Since when are public figures fair game for satire?
Well your goons did run her off the road sir.
I can't be held responsible for what my goons were ordered to do.
These batteries have to power everything in our house. [inserts Spice Girls tape] YO, I tell you what I want what I really really want what I want what I want I'll tell you what I want! [Batteries die] That was totally worth it.
[spots the moon's laser image] Way to go, Moon Milhouse!
See Lisa, instead of one big-shot controlling all the media, now there's a thousand freaks xeroxing their worthless opinions.
S16Treehouse of Horror XV
[being burned on a frying pan by Kang and Kodos] Am I the only one here who's in horrible pain?
[eating himself on a frozen dish] You're the only one who won't shut up about it!
[Ned has been suffering a series of premonitions that have come true]
Oh Lord, why have you given me these unholy visions of doom!? [Ned sees he is standing outside a theater performing the Rosie O'Donnell Musical. He has another premonition of the show being cancelled after three performances]
[scoffs] Well, I didn't need any special power to know that was coming!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.