A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
Not if you called 'em stench blossoms.
Or crapweeds.
I'd sure hate to get a dozen crapweeds for Valentine's Day. I'd rather have candy.
Not if they were called scumdrops.
“The Principal and the Pauper” · Season 9
In this episode: Homer Simpson (3), Bart Simpson (2), Marge Simpson (2), Seymour Skinner (2), Agnes Skinner (2), Edna Krabappel (2), Lisa Simpson (1)
[Thinking] Keep looking shocked and move slowly towards the cake.
They gave me a choice: jail, the army, or apologize to the judge and old lady. Of course, if I knew there was a war going on, I probably would have apologized.
[In Armin's apartment, the ex-principal lies on his bed while his visitors stand around him trying to convince him to come home. Armin refuses as they got the real Seymour Skinner.]
AArmin
My mind is made up! I'm not coming back and that's final!
Oh, Seymour.
AArmin
And I'm not Seymour, my name is Armin! This is Armin's apartment, Armin's liquor, Armin's copy of "Swank", Armin's frozen peas.
Can I see your copy of "Swank", Armin?
AArmin
Yes, you can. This is Armin's life, and maybe it's not perfect, but at least I'm back where I belong. I was born a no-goodnik, and I'll die a no-goodnik.
Seymour! I didn't bring you up to use language like that!
AArmin
Well, you didn't bring me up at all!
To hell I didn't! I've been taking care of you for 26 years! I'm the only mother you've ever known!
AArmin
But you have your real son!
You are my real son! You've been my son longer than he has, and he doesn't need me, and I don't need him! Now you march yourself downstairs and get in that car!
AArmin
Yes, Mother.
And the rest of you, too!
AAll
Yes, Mrs. Skinner.
[Agnes is infuriated by her real son's behavior and misses Armin more. Later, she stews in anger in the grocery store check-out lane.]
Good morning, Agnes. Mmm...how's your new son working out?
That child is the most disobedient, smart-alecky middle-aged man in creation!
Hello, ladies. Is this the line for people who want to bad-mouth Sergeant Skinner?
And have ten items or less.
[discarding items] Twelve, eleven, ten, the man's a weenie!
Now be fair, Edna. I liked Armin Tamzarian too, but he was at least as big a weenie as Sergeant Skinner.
But he was "our" weenie!
[Marge even had to admit Edna was right about Armin.]
Principal Skinner?
Up yours, children!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.