The Simpsons Season 35 quotes

Lisa

Okay, missing a wheel, no brakes, still in control. Okay, now I'm not in control, but still calm. Wow, I have a great therapist.

She's gonna die!

Lisa

I am so sorry. You can sell my Malibu Stacy Dream House. It's increased in value. I just redid the kitchen.

Homer

Relax. We're not gonna sell your toys. The sax is where the real money is.

Marge

Homer.

Homer

What? My upper-lower, middle-lower, lower-class income isn't gonna get us out of this.

Marge

Hmm. In order to save this family, I'm gonna have to do something I've never done before, get a job.

Bart

Oh, you've had tons of jobs: cop, realtor, gym owner, erotic baker, weed sommelier.

Bart

Dad, where's my bike?

Homer

How would I know? I don't know. You probably lost it.

Bart

Dad!

Homer

I tipped it! I gave it to my barber because he cleaned up my eyebrows. [Crying hugs Bart] I'm so sorry, Bart! I'm so sorry.

Exact change? Huh. That's it?

Homer

Oh, I really want to tip you, Moe, but I promised my wife I'd quit.

Here's a thought, Homer. Uh, what if you took the moolah out of your pocket, but you just stop before anything happened. You know, uh, everything but the tip.

Homer

That doesn't seem like it could lead to anything.

Sure it couldn't.

Homer

[takes his wallet out of his pocket, giving Moe a $10] We shouldn't have done that.

Does that mean that you want to stop?

Homer

[giving Moe a another $10, moans] No. It feels so good. [giving Moe a another $10]

Don't stop, you generous man. Oh, yeah, give it to me, big boy.

Homer

You like that?

Oh, that's the spot.

Homer

I can do this all night.

Right there.

Homer

Tell me you want it.

Oh, God!

Homer

Yes!

Oh, God!

Homer

Yes!

Oh, God!

Homer

Yes! [cash flies into a Moe in his face]

Oh, God!

Carl

I need a new bar.

Marge

Ugh, Bart, stop it! This is enough!

Homer

Yeah, this isn't just some little quirk like wearing a fedora or being a Libertarian. You got a disgusting brain in a greasy jar.