Thanks for not letting me give up, Dad.
Hey, I'd do anything for a sweet, intelligent mammal. By which I mean you. [hugs her]
S21The Squirt and the Whale
S21To Surveil With Love
QEQueen Elizabeth II
I miss that Ralph Wiggum. Reminds me of my boy.
Mummy, my cat's breath smells like cat food.
Well, if you ask me, you were trying to play God.
[gasps] That's the worst sin of all, for some reason.
SGSurveillance Guy
[pushes a button on the intercom] 'Oy! Snogging people!
That's not Sesame Street, that's a gay bar.
I guess I did create this, just as God created the Devil.
God create the devil? Finally, He did something cool!
MMegan
What if someone's driving an old, but functioning, car? Wouldn't the carbon required to create a new hybrid exceed the savings in gas?
Initially yes, but...
MMegan
And isn't most electricity in the United States ultimately derived from the burning of coal?
Currently. However, solar and wind are...
[grunts] Aaaaaaaaaaah, Nooooooooooooo.
S21Moe Letter Blues
MMoe
[in letter] "There is no easy way to say goodbye forever, so I'll say it in the hardest way I can... Mandarin Chinese."
S21The Bob Next Door
All right, buddy, I'm gonna do to you what you should've done to my son a long time ago!
WWWalt Warren
[in his Sideshow Bob disguise] I'm not Sideshow Bob. I'm the real Walt Warren.
You missed the turn-off, Mr. Warren.
[in his Walt Warren disguise] You don't have to call me Mr. Warren anymore. You see, Bart, you were right all along. [He takes off Walt's shoes, revealing his huge ugly feet] I am Sideshow Bob.
[Bart screams in horror then Sideshow Bob cackles maniacally]
Y'know, the great ones can kill without explaining.
I can stand in one state, fire a gun in the second state, the bullet will travel through the third, hitting you in the fourth, so you'll fall down dead in the fifth! No single act is against any law, but their sum total is the greatest murder since Snape killed Dumbledore!
Oh, I haven't gotten to that part yet!
It's a four-year-old book.
I'm a slow reader.
A fitting epitaph [pause] It means last words!
Are you here to teach me, or kill me?
S21Judge Me Tender
Mr. Flanders, how did you make these amazing fish?
Actually, God made some fish that were pretty close to these so naturally we selected those for further breeding.
So that natural selection was the origin of this species?
Yep, that's exactly--[laughs] You almost got me.
[Fish grows legs, crawls out of water, and starts breathing air]
Not on my watch [pushes it back into water]
SCSimon Cowell
How do you like LA?
MMoe
It's a hell of a city. It's like someone stepped on New York and scraped it off on the beach.
You never fail to nauseate me boy.
Just call me Barf Simpson.
I wanted to, but your mother said kids might tease you.
He's a [says a series of words that get bleeped out]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.