TV show quotes
Okay, okay, I'll give it a try. Ahem. Hello, stranger. Got any sexually transmitted diseases I should know about?
Ugh. My name is Lavern McCray. I'm a lingerie model.
Well, we have that in common.
You're a lingerie model?
No, uh, my name is also Laverne McCray. I-I mean Maverne MacDoolittle?
I want-a my mamma!
Eh, what you should want is a lawyer. How's about-a both?
[At Springfield Court, Judge Snyder pounds the gavel at Luigi]
[holding a pizza] It's-a not-a looking a-good, Mamma. They gonna send-a me away forever.
Counselor Mamma, your closing argument?
[Mamma grab the papers, and put them down. Mamma clears throat and starting to slap the people]
Don't you dare take-a my sweet, sweet, sweet baby boy to jail. You want to kill an old woman?
Next week, on the Mamma-At-Law... Civil forfeitures laws unfairly discriminate against low income communities.
I believe every great dish is born of dreams. I'll often awaken with a new creation fully formed in my head. Every morning, I go to the farmer's market to get inspired. Each ingredient becomes a character in the story of lunch. Today's story is, I have 14 bucks and 500 kids to feed. Salt. Fat. Acid. Heat. No, thanks.
I've eaten in restaurants all over the world, and Lunchlady Dora's doing things I never thought were possible... or legal. Someone needs to stop her. Maybe the government?
When I present my food, I want it to evoke an emotion. Panic.
Ah! [He fells]
So, hi. This is my first time on one of these sites. I'm not really sure how this works, but it's time to admit that I'm lonely. Janice passed away six months ago, and I'm finally ready to open my heart to a new enemy. We were at war for 50 years. Oh, God. What a nemesis she was. The most loathsome, sorry excuse for a human being you ever met. May she burn in Hell. I know you're not supposed to talk about your ex, but that relationship is a part of me. Anyway. Ever since I spit on her ugly grave, I've been alone. I'm looking for someone in my rage bracket. I'm not young. I don't have time to waste exchanging passive-aggressive emails or shooting hostile stares across the supermarket. I'm looking for a real commitment. [On phone] If you think that could be you, reach out. I just wanna make someone miserable for the rest of their worthless life. Hmph! [He chiming in phone]
Oh, Milhouse fell down. I think he's okay, but it looks like the poor guy's about to... [Milhouse wailing]
Doesn't betting on bad things happening to children feel just a bit wrong?
I feel nothing and I'm fine with that.
It's Sheri.
[All groaning]
Oh, yes! Yes!
Correction, the faller is Teri. Repeat, Teri.
Now, you must be ready for a nap.
No, I have to save... [yawns] ...the lady.
Nighty nighty. [closes and locks the door]
THIS IS BULL! I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO SULLY SULLENBERGER!
Homer, stop it! You always do this. You'll get us banned.
So? We'll take our business elsewh--
[muffled shouting]
There is no elsewhere. Because of your past behavior, you're on the No Fly List of every other airline in the country. Even Spirit.
Every time you pull his finger, his pants cough.
Jesus is God's Rod.
[laughing] Jesus is God's Rod.
Blasphemy.
A million dollars!
I don't want stew. I want mac and cheese.
[turns red in anger] Eat your million-dollar stew. [grabs Bart's head and forces him to eat his bowl of stew]
I can't remember the last movie we saw in theaters. And on opening night!
Movies are back, baby!
Just think of all the chumps out there waiting three days until this movie's free on streaming.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
