Bernice Hibbert quotes from The Simpsons

Bernice

Julius!

Clancy!

Chalmers

Skinner?

Agnes

Seymour!

Seymour

Mother...

Selma

[off-screen] Patty?

Brandine

Cletus!

... Oh, uh... Barney.

Clancy!

Chief Wiggum

Hey, come on, you did me twice.

Mr. Burns

Smithers?

My... my parents insisted I give it a try, sir.

Luann

Mayor Quimby!

Uh, well, that could be any mayor.

Marge

I rest my case.

Er, uh, well... eh, in light of these new facts, of which I now realize I was largely aware, I must take action. All in favor of demolishing our beloved burlesque house, raise your hands.

Lindsey Naegle

We want to know what you want in your daytime programming. There are no wrong answers and no bad ideas.

Helen Lovejoy

In that case, recipes.

Lindsey Naegle

Sure. [write the marker in the smart board]

Bernice Hibbert

Air fryer recipes.

Celebrities come on the show?

Lindsey Naegle

Well, yes, obviously, but...

Put it on the board then.

Marge

Uh, I was thinking...

Agnes

Something with vacuum.

Marge Simpson

Luann, we're not feeling very "woo." What we're feeling is woo-ried.

Bernice Hibbert

Mm-hmm.

This is an intervention.

Luann

I don't have a problem with drinking.

Lindsey Naegle

It's not the wine.

Marge

Luann, you have an addiction to wine merch.

Marge

Luann, we're here for you.

Luann

But... but being a funny wine mom is my thing. I have absolutely nothing else in my life. [He starting to crying, Milhouse sighs]

Marge

You like coffee, right? What if your new personality was coffee?

Luann

Coffee merch doesn't get me there!

Bernice Hibbert

Chocolate?

Luann

"It's chocolate o'clock somewhere"? That makes no sense, Bernice.

Miss Hoover

How about "proud slut"?

Luann

Hmm... hmm... I love it.

Bernice

Oh, hey there, handsome. What's your name?

Dr. Julius Hibbert.

Bernice

No, it's not.

Okay, okay, I'll give it a try. Ahem. Hello, stranger. Got any sexually transmitted diseases I should know about?

Bernice

Ugh. My name is Lavern McCray. I'm a lingerie model.

Well, we have that in common.

Bernice

You're a lingerie model?

No, uh, my name is also Laverne McCray. I-I mean Maverne MacDoolittle?