TV show quotes
I'm Dr. Janet Grody, creator of Snüf Total-Body Deodorant. It's for all your grossest places. Just rub it right on your butt cleft, under pouch, stink flaps...
Ah! How could they say those words on TV?
...peat bog, smuckle, stunk-tank.
[Homer, Bart, and Lisa are all laughing]
Come on. Skip ad. Skip ad.
Between-hatch, gunk chunnel, boob swamp, elbow crotch.
Elbow crotch. I have one of those.
The phone banning guy can't get off his phone. Ironic!
Hey that is irony. Very accurate heckleing Bart.
Thank you. I love you.
What?
Nothing.
I don't care what deal you made. We got to pull the plug on this nightmare!
Are you nuts?! This thing is huge! You're a smash!
They're puking in Peoria.
They're retching in Rochester.
They've got PTSD in Pickstown, South Dakota!
[floating down the river] I'm streaming.
Yeah, we never come back with all of them, but nature's amazing because the one that's gone is the one that should be.
Mom, maybe you could tell a story about us when we were younger.
Um, we've done that a few times. Not sure what stories are left. Maggie's first tooth, Grampa's last tooth, the time Homer thought he invented stuffed crust pizza.
I did invent it. [picks up a paper of Crust Insert Stuff with Pizza on it] I'm the Thomas Edison of stuffing things with cheese.
Including yourself.
[turns red in anger] Why you little. [strangles Bart]
Your primitive strangling is no match for fireplace tongs. [strangles Homer with a fireplace tongs, then Homer tickles him, Homer turns his face normal, then he and Homer lays on the floor]
We just made some memories, boy.
I caught a frog, I caught a frog. Ooh. Where did he go?
[A frog is not in Bart's hand, but a frog is on Lisa's nose, causing to Lisa scream as Homer tries to pulls a frog off Lisa's nose]
[offscreen] What's going on in there?
Boy, quit scaring your sister.
We follow your path, teacher, but are you sure that the secret to eternal youth is shot-gunning beer and watching the Godzilla Channel until 3:00 a.m.?
You know what might make you feel better? Making him feel worse. After all, the Buddha teaches us, "It's impossible to be happy if other people are."
My intel confirms that Skinner is the principal of the school, and also he does in fact suck.
Another perfect checkup, Lisa. Next.
Hang tight, Dr K. I just got to freshen up. [he goes to the bathroom, puts his bag on the sink, opens his bag and grabs his packet of triple cookies, swallows an entire box of triple cookies]
All right. Let's see what we're working with here... [screaming]
[at home, Homer reads off details of the statement while he's pacing]
Four-hour teeth cleaning... [Bart cackles] Emergency whitening. Oreo exposure therapy for the hygienist. [stops pacing, then angrily yells at Bart] Do you have any idea how much your stunt cost?
Can you really put a price on that kind of comedy?
What I can do is find a punishment that fits the crime. Now you have an appointment with Dr. Homer. [picks up a power drill]
Come on, get in there! Ghost pepper? More like Casper the friendly ghost. Oh. Now it's kicking in. [screaming]
I'm driving to school today. How am I gonna learn not to kill people if you don't let me practice?
[Maggie crying]
Maggie, Maggie, rest your voice. You're still getting over that laryngitis.
Please, don't let Bart drive. It's too scary. He drives so wiggly and everybody honks at us and yells bad words and shows us fingers.
[Bart groans]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
